Me = Romance? Try Bothersome Feelings

"Some people call it romance. I call it bothersome feelings."

Which is exactly what I told an acquaintance of mine when she tried to probe me of spilling imaginary beans.... I say imaginary because I can see her side where she suspects that I'm keeping something from her when I'm not. But then again, those kind of conversations are always irritating anyway. Interesting..isn't it? I will admit to something though. Simply put, I'm afraid. I'll admit it. Whether she reads this...(which I seriously DOUBT)....or not is really not my problem. Hm. Cynical + annoyance = prickly. Prickly...indeed.

I will hold to what I say true to what I'm currently feeling though. When you're attached to someone in the early stages, (e.g. crushing, daydreaming, stalking-them-on-facebook-trying-to-get-their-AIM-screenname) it's just very, VERY time consuming. It's like a black hole, eating up all the time of your ONLY life. (Ignoring the beliefs of religion AKA ignoring the inner acknowledgemeant of afterlife.) I don't get it at all. Having fluffy feelings takes up a lot of time and energy. It's....just....bothersome, especially when it's only wishful thinking. Wishful, hopeless thinking. Depressing isn't it? Nods for reader. Good for me. =.= -pats-

It's frustrating I think. To be bitter. I think bitterness is such a tossy-turny-scabby feeling. In plainer more English terms, tossy-turny is referring to the way how people toss and turn from thinking senseless, unimportant things at night that keep them up anyway. Scabby feeling is the feeling symbolizes the feeling that one gets when you get a scab. It's annoying. It's itchy and you just want it OFF. You want to flick it off and never worry about it ever again. That's what it means in the Little-Totoro Dictionary. I know I'm bitter and I know that I want it and yet at the same time I want to skip steps to get to my destination. Like Alex Hitchens says in the movie Hitch

"He's not sure that he could just walk up to you and you'd respond if he said 'I like you.' I LIKE you!"

And why not? Why can't it be that simple? It's just an exchange right? A selfless exchange of being happy at the same time with no strings attached. It's a rather tossy-turny-scabby feeling. (By the way, NOW you understand it...right? Hope the Little-Totoro Dictionary was clear.)

I don't understand this part of me. I'm usually much more patient with things and yet this bothers me to no end. It bothers me................. -curls up into a ball and rocks back and forth- So.....yes, I get it people of the world. You WANT romance. You WANT love in your life. The buzzy, electricity feeling. The butterflies in your stomach. The cutesy, fluffy whirlwind of rose petals and selfless attraction where you'd do anything to make the significant other happy. Yay. Congrats pour toi. Me? I'm unstable when it comes to emotions, so I close them off. It's MUCH, MUCH simplier that way, even though I want it with the rest of you. So be released, fishies in the sea. Swim freeeeeeeeee!~ For there are other fishies for you to meet. Yay.......

I do hope that this doesn't put a damper on your opinion of it though. It's a blog. Blog's purpose is to rant or state opinions. So...since I'm in an indifferent mood now. Friendly reminder has now ended. =) Good day.