Me = Wonderland and Funfact #22

Alice in Wonderland was absolutely amazing. The digital design of everything, the attention to detail and the costume design. I love colors and the movie was just an explosion of them. Yayness! ^^ Hehe.

I love movies that just make you think and piece things together on your own along the way. Dark Knight kind of had that and Vantage Point was a good one that made you think. Cute movies are nice too. WALL-E and Totoro! =) Hehe. Inspirational ones are nice like Blindside. One of my all time favorites. Horror movies that are nightmare worthy, which are unfortunately nonexistent because they always use what me and my ge ge agreed to as the tricking-music method. They use the music to prep you up and make it so that you're expecting something, and then when nothing happens and just when you decide nothing is going to happen, oh-em-geezies, something's supposed to pop out and scare the crap out of you. =) Have you noticed that?

Well anyways, besides all those kind of movies that I like. I also like the kind that just have incredible presentation AKA detailed designs, a stampede of colors like some willy wonka chocolate room and what not. It's nice and I enjoy seeing that. Fashion for me is something that I don't really pay attention to, but in Alice and Wonderland, the costumes were so cool. Ruffles and symbolism and just a mish mosh of color. Spectacular.


My absolute favorite was Alice's dress that the Red Queen gave her to wear. I also have come to be very fond of the iconic color for Alice's clothing, which is like a very subtle and gentle light blue. It's very calming. =) Colleen Atwood. You have a new fan. =) Fantastic work.

Picture Diary #47

Obviously, he doesn't say that, but........eh...oh shaddup. One can dream. I like how even though I prefer reality at its grittiest and bleakest because it's whats real...deep inside, I still want a fairy tale. Yeah...that's the stupid side of me. x.x Sigh. Get a grip.

Picture Diary #46

This looks like something that would happen to me. xD Oh...the fail stamps I would get in life if that existed.

072910 If You Were A Mind Reader, Will You Run Away?

If you were a mind reader, you'd get a blistering headache from reading all the thoughts that surround me like a heavy fog that shrouds the clarity completely like some present wrapped in layers and layers of duct tape. You'd throw your hands up and an exasperated huff of frustration would escape from your pursed lips. Even if you had the power to see through it all, I'd be like some baby chick surrounded by a cluster of thorns that would pierce your skin until it was raw and angry. I'd see the blood and try to reach out to you and tend to your wounds, but I'd be hurting you more and just watch as you surely give up.

If you were a mind reader, I'd be confusing your mind, encircling it with contradictions and endless streams of self-conscious whispers like a viper strangling your thoughts because together all my thoughts swallow time whole and nibble at the edges of insanity's curiosity.

If you were a mind reader, I'd pity you and try to suppress my mind's activity because it'll definitely trip you so many times that your knees are a darker shade from all the scars like some purple permanent bruise that mars your precious soul. I'd watch helplessly as my undoing harms you and attacks you like some curse that ravages the sense of those who I care for.

If you were a mind reader, I'd gaze timidly away like some frightened baby rabbit because I'd know that you'd read me like some modern high school student stressing over the depiction and analyzing of Shakespeare. Some points would be there, some would be lot, some would be borrowed and some would be deep within.

If you were a mind reader, you'd know that I'd ask you at least a million times what your intention is. Do you want me to be there for you? Do you want me to say something to make you smile? Do you want me to confess? Do you want to know what I'm thinking? Do you want to know the real me at once? Do you want to know me bit by bit? Do you…..do you feel the same way?

If you were a mind reader, you'd know how I feel. You'd know the confusion that whirls around me like some tornado of clumsiness that longs to know what you see in me.

If I was a mind reader? Well…that's a different story isn't it?

Picture Diary #45

So calming. =)

Picture Diary #44

Oh my...okay, I apologize...total girly moment...but this is my dream dress. My eyes literally grew into the size of quarters when I saw this. And you know what? For a person with Asian eyes, that means something. Oh yeah, I went there. It's so pretty. -stifles a squeak-

http://www.milanoo.com/Ivory-OffThe-Shoulder-V-Neck-A-line-Satin-Organza-Bridal-Dress-p5334.html

Picture Diary #43

Oh...my....goshums. Godiva has this?! Since when?! o.o'' Piff. Well, well, well. Hello strawberries dipped in white chocolate. <3 One of the rare sweets that I absolutely adore. <3

072810 There's Something About You

There's something about you that connects the stars in the sky to spell out our names with little hearts along the side.

There's something about you that makes me feel like I'm flying even though I'm losing my grip and falling from reality.

There's something about you that makes everything that I think about just melt from my mind and just come out as a happy sigh through my trembling, nervous lips.

There's something about you and just being with you that makes me feel safe and a fraction closer of who I wish to be, to be happy, to be in your arms, to be everything that you want.

There's something about you and makes me wish that I was better, that I was the one for you, that I together, we can take on everything and anything that comes our way.

There's something about you that makes everything so much better and so much clearer and blurrier at the same time because you make me feel like everything is going to be okay.

There's just something about you that makes everything just mean so much more, time, every hug and everything in between.

There's just something about you that makes me love you.

Me = Best Friends and Bubble Thought

Went to Fae Mao's house today. =) I really like spending time with best fweeend, even if we were just chilling and watching Home Alone 3 and some Disney thing. Haha. Food! =) Food indeed. Well, things are always calming and nice when she's around. =)

I feel like..at the end of the day, I'm just entertainment. I think I've said that before. I...I'm not sure how else to be there for him though. It's...a depressing I guess. I have this little bubble of a thought floating around in the back of my mind that tells me that he's a little embarrassed to be this close to me. It's a little...awkward for him or something. I'm not sure, but the thought is still there. But in any case, I feel like we're slowly getting there, getting to the point of opening up just a little more or just enough. I'm not sure. Not quite sure about anything my thoughts today. Usually they're just scattered pieces of some 500 piece puzzle and after considerable thought, it all makes sense, but today...it feels like I'm trying to catch the wind. I can feel it. I can sense it. I know it's around me, but I just can't have it as my own. It's a little defeating, but I'll keep going. =) I feel like I'm so close, but so far at the same time. I finally know what the phrase means now, like actually fully understand it. There's that at least. Learning something new every time. =) "Baby steps," as a friend says, "Baby steps." ^^

Me = Much More Appreciative and some Funfact #19

There's just something about going to classes that kind of reminds me just what I live for. I feel....hrm....softer overall whenever I'm reminded of these kind of lessons. Not even the fight I had with my parent was able to bother me. I feel like even though things resorted to sarcasm dripping with acid (on my part) and name-calling (on the other party's part) in the end, I still have to say something and I'm still related to them. There's nothing that can change that. I can't avoid them. I can't do anything to leave them permanently, even though that is an option. I have to stay strong and do something about it. I had a talk with a close friend yesterday and it really helped. It also really helped when wannabe minho told me to calm down even though he didn't know what was going on. It helped so much, even though I was already trying to. It made me feel really grateful knowing that someone cared enough to tell me to.

I just have this horrible habit. You know that saying? Sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you. Or something of that sort. Sticks and bones...is all I know for sure is in it and something about never hurting and words and something...ANYWAYS, point is. Yeah...words never hurt me. If it's said out of anger from someone I'm not particularly close with, I don't care for them, and if it's said from a close friend. It doesn't hurt me, but the very thing that sets me off is when someone has to drag someone else into the argument and then proceeds to insult them. That will set me off and make me very, very irritated. I've never been....so irritated in awhile. It didn't sit well with me at all and I started emitting more sarcasm. Sigh..well that was last night, and now everything's fine. I just felt like I had to record it somewhere. I'll have to tell Fae Mao later on. I miss her already. =( Hope you're working hard! You can do it!

There's something about him that just calms me down such a significant amount. I feel like everything lessens and I'm exhaling so much away. I don't know what to do about it to express it though. I suck so much at expressing how I feel with words, that I try to express it through my actions, but the problem is...there's just so much with my actions that make it seem probably uncomfortable in his eyes. I really need to keep taking the next step in opening up with words. It..it'll just have to work out...I hope. I feel safe with him, it's like the same feeling with Fae Mao and my other close friend. I feel like I do have a family, but I stiffen everytime someone says that they love their family. It makes me feel like I'm broken and I hate feeling like that. If I'm broken, how do I stand for the ones that I care about? I..I can't be like that. I am fortunate. I really am. I have to learn to see the more positive things more and more. I can't dwell on the negatives. It'll pull me back from who I want to be. I want to be better.

And yes yes, I haven't really been keeping up with the 30 day challenge. My apologies. I just want to take a break from it. I suppose I've lost the challenge? But I might as well finish it until the end. I'm like that. Hrm.... yeah. I'm just like that.

Me = Lucky

I'm lucky to have such wonderful friends. I was given a very simple, but delicious strawberry cake yesterday. It was my first cake since I was 5 and I was absolutely ecstatic, jumping around like some hyper child who was first introduced to the concept of Starbucks or something. Playing in the pool was quite fun. And when I ate ice cream at first Fae Mao playfully took the bite because apparently I was left wide open and she just nom-ed my spoonful of creme brulee off of the spoon. It was pretty funny, until later when I went to the kitchen to figure out what to do with all the food and I was left wide open again when wannabe Minho gently grabbed my wrist and nom-ed a spoonful of ice cream off the spoon. I remembered that I widened my eyes a little and felt my ears burn, but I think I recovered quickly enough. I think....Deja Vu. Silly little nap dreams. ._.''

I have made a promise to myself though. I'm going to do it before the end of summer. I don't think that this can go on any longer. I just...I want to know, and I want him to know. It's just that simple. Things like this should be simple...right? At least I think it should. Everything would just be a lot easier if I just knew what was going on, but I'm not telepathic. And even if I was...I don't think that's a hitting-below-the-belt of a deed anyway. Sometimes though, I just wished that I knew what was going on in a person's mind. What they think. How they feel. No wonder people think girls in general are annoying. Feelings always come into play. It didn't used to be that way. But..that's what makes us human. Right? Feelings. The ability to act on them and pursue things that make us deep in the gut happy. I think that's pretty lucky. This post is so contradicting that it's making my head spin. Oi....

I loved yesterday though. We watched Mr and Mrs Smith, Kill Bill, Kill Bill 2 and Vantage Point. Kill Bill movies were like some combination of some bad comic, anime, street fighter simulation strung together with a simple story line and a corny script. Mr and Mrs Smith is really good though. Whoever is the scriptwriter for that movie gets my respect. Vantage Point makes you think and put pieces together. I love those kind of movies. Everything is just strung together in the end perfectly and you sympathize with the dramatic irony in some aspects while knowing just how each person feels and thinks. Oh...look and we circle back to knowing how people think and feel....even my thoughts are traveling in circles. This is just peachy.

I'm easily irritated today for the reason that I was supposed to be spending time with Fae Mao, but for reasons that only God knows, I was summoned to go to work, which is where I am now, taking notes and collecting data. Well...not today. I guess...but more like easily irritated since about 6pm? Yeah...around there I guess....I'll try to make it up to her. She wasn't happy for sure. I'm so stupid. Why did I just agree...I should've just arranged it to be Saturday morning from the very beginning. I. Am. Stupid. =.= It frustrates me.

Oh right, note to self: get a new phone. The screen is completely blank and I have to navigate through it by muscle memory. Fantastical.

Despite all the should-be-obvious sarcasm, which I am evidently failing at diminishing since my prominent wish to eliminate it, I really am lucky. I got earphones, a cell phone charm, a strawberry cake, lychee jelly, 10 boxes of pocky, some clothes, some pretty cool pencils, a thermos and the presence of 4 people of who I cherish.

Happy Birthday to me. I hope...my wish comes true. Please.

Picture Diary #42 and Funfact #22

My favorite pokemon is Pikachu. =) So cute! >w< Pika-chu! =3

Me = Curious Kittay

For some reason, I've been acting more and more like a kitten or a hamster....take your pick. Anyway, I've already expressed my curiosity about the picture that wannabe Minho drew for me, but now it just buuuuuurns my tummy just thinking about it. I want to know. Oh curiosity really is going to be the end of me. Wait. No. I take that back. Curiosity and stupidity. =.= Ahaha and I'm working on my self esteem? Okay..well it's happening really slowly. xD But it's happening! I promise!

You know what I would want today? My only wish? To not have people worry. I'm not sad. I'm not unhappy. I'm grateful. I feel as though I'm dripping rare words of color instead of the masked pride monochrome words that slip from my lips. There's no bad thing that's slipping through my mind right now and it's...it's just amazing. Sometimes...I feel like I'm a different person entirely with the the sudden bursts of optimism. Usually I see the bad things first, but then in the end find the optimism to get by for the rest of the time. It's like Pandora's box where every bad thing flies out, but in the end there was hope. Was that a good comparison? Hrm. The sun is starting to rise.

Well I'm going to go each lunch with my Mom later on, so hopefully for the rest of the day, it'll be calming. The sky is like a lavender right now, and the color just makes me wonder if there was a single person the world who's eyes are this color.

Curiosity, anticipation, relaxed, thankful and at peace. Yeah...I'm going to be happy with today. Everything feels like it's blooming around me. My thoughts even, but even if my thoughts are, I feel like I'm struggling to keep up with it. I hope that I'm blooming. If not blooming, then I hope that I'm at least growing in some way or another. It'll be okay..yeah...I'll be okay. =)

Funfact #21

I want to learn how to beatbox. The idea to me seems so awesome. o.o''

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Dear Myoi Myoi
You told me not to tell anyone that something something something. Can't believe it. You're growing up. =) So excited for you! =) Hope that you're having fun in Taiwan little sis. Miss you! <3

Love
Meh! =) -GLOMP-

Picture Diary #41

Whoa....this is a customized engagement ring box. I thought it was really creative. Look at that detail! That is so awesome! =O -oogles at it-

http://themodelmaker.net/category/pixar-up-house/

Picture Diary #40

This is so cute. =3

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Dear Paris friend
This is starting to get really redundant. It seems like all the things evolve around the same people. Or...maybe I just don't know enough people. >.>'' Or...even worse..maybe I just know remember as many memories as I should with people. That...would just be horrible.

ANYWAYS, my absolute favorite memory. It was physically quite numbing, but spiritually? emotionally? absolutely the best feeling by far that I've ever had. It was the first time I felt....that I was accepted for who I was, not because you were obligated to. I wonder if you remember. I wonder if you're even allowed to carry on your memories into the afterlife with you. I think that would be cool though. If you could do that, it'd be pretty trippy.

We were at your house and I was sulking because something happened with some high school meanie head. I suddenly felt a spurge of intense anger and I stood up suddenly, you seemed pretty used to being really quiet when I was angry, so I don't think that you found it unusual for my moody personality back then. Anyway, I locked myself in the bathroom and slammed my forehead into the wall. I remember that I felt everything rattle around as my sight blurred the first time I did it. I felt kind of dizzy but I got really angry and started punching the tiled wall. Eventually, you figured out that obviously a bathroom break was questionable if it was that long, so you came and you asked if I was okay. I remember that I panicked and stopped when I heard you ask. You asked again and I felt shame and smashed my fist into the wall again. I remember that you threatened to break down the door and at the time, I didn't believe you a single bit. xD But you did, you dummy. You just had to break it down like that...why...xD Anyway, I was kneeling on the floor about to punch the wall again and you freaked out and grabbed my wrist. It was the first time that I realized what I was really doing. I remember that I saw the blood on my knuckles and my shirt and the wall and I..just stared. I didn't expect the next thing that happened though. Freaking tackled me against the bathtub and started to cry like a baby asking me not to do it anymore. My head thudded against the bathtub and I saw stars, but you kept on begging me not to do it anymore and I couldn't really say no. I felt my really numb hands shaking on their own and I felt myself crying.

Despite how horrendously demented the memory serves, I think that...it impacted me the most. It was the first time that I wanted to trust someone completely and it was the first time that I felt comfortable crying. I probably scared you to death at the time and I really apologize for it. Remembering that though, just makes me so happy. But now, it's a pretty bittersweet memory I guess. I hope that you're happy where ever you are.

Love
Meh.

Me = Musical Preferences

Current favorite song to replay over and over again:
Love the Way You Lie (ft Rihanna) by Eminem

All time favorite rap:
Mockingbird by Eminem

All time favorite melancholy song when remembering:
Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park


All time favorite chinese song:
我可以 by 蔡旻佑

Favorite country-pop song: (would only listen to Taylor Swift)
Tim McGraw by Taylor Swift [TIED]
White Horse by Taylor Swift [TIED]

All time favorite korean song:
Jojo by ShinEE [TIED]
Why Did I Fall In Love With You by DBSK [TIED]
Invisible Person by Son Dambi [TIED]

Favorite song of all time:
So Contagious by Acceptance [TIED]
How Do I Breathe by Mario [TIED]

Past favorites for a period of time:
Burn by Usher
Just So You Know by Jesse McCartney
Apologize by One Republic
Memory by Sugarcult
Let Me Hear Your Voice by Big Bang
If It Means A Lot to You by A Day to Remember
Airplanes (ft Haley Williams) by B.O.B.


3-way tie for Korean song. >.>'' whoa.....

You know...the song Airplanes was going to be one of my all time favorites until they kept on replaying on the radio and I saw it on the page of almost every single person I knew. It got old. Sorry, but the concept is really good.

Same thing happened to Apologize, but it's still a good song. I personally liked the original better. I don't know what made One Republic agree to Timbaland just coming in and just saying "eh...eh...eh...." It reminded me of Rihanna's Umbrella. No. That was definitely not going to do.

If It Means A Lot to You was a really good song. Almost was a three-way tie for all time favorites. Note to self: look up the band. =)

Burn was the very first non-classical song that I ever heard. I remember it was back in 5th grade when I heard it. I thought it was THE MOST WONDERFUL THING EVER. Non-classical music that is. xD


Let Me Hear Your Voice has such nice lyrics. I like lyrics and then I look at beats. It's a preference. x3

Not exactly sure why I suddenly just upped and decided to do this...but I guess it was something to burn off this kinda feeling. I don't really like it...I just feel really unhappy. Not mad..or sad, just..unhappy. >.<'' Oi....I need to start growing up. This is really frustrating. Le sigh.

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Dear blonde high schooler from elementary school
I highly doubt you remember me, but oh do I remember you. Elementary school? One of the reasons that made me feel like it was horrible. Everyone wishes that they wanted to go back to the times in elementary school when things were simple. Simple?...uh, right. For me? I hated elementary school. When I first saw you, I remember you were snooping around the school with your brunette bimbo friend. She looked like a loyal puppy and in my head, it was the first hostile impression that I had in my life. "She looks mean and kind of bitchy." Suck it up, in elementary school, it was weird if people didn't say the f word, at least...in my elementary school it was weird.

Anyways, I remember that even though you were bitchy to me and to that poor first grader in the girls bathroom. What did she ever do to you? I walked in and found you beating her up with your airhead friends. She's just a kid. What is wrong with you? Was it absolutely necessary to slam my head against the bathroom wall as well? Well, whatever I do suppose that I do have to thank you. I've learned to look after myself and I also learned that standing up for someone is really hard. I don't get why you acted the way you did, but it doesn't matter anymore. It already passed. I will say that I forgive you for it, and I do hope that you're still not doing such acts anymore because that would just be sad.

Anyways,
Meh.

Me = Despicable with a Sushi T-shirt

Despicable Me wasn't all that bad, but I must say that it comes as the 2nd to Wall-e for my personal all time favorite Disney movies. Wall-e is adorable. =) I have a little doll of him from a friend of mine who bought it from Disneyland. So yeah, I watched the movie with Twin yesterday and afterwards we roamed around the mall. I got a tank top with sushi on it and it's currently my favorite thing to wear for pajamas. =) Now that I think about it....I miss eating sushi. Favorite thing to eat. Siigh.

Well, I'm going to start a diary soon in my red gold edged journal. I'm quite excited for it. It's going to be something like the blog I guess, although I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do that's going to be all that different. For sure though, I have a feeling that it's going to be written on a much more personal level.

I was talking to Fei Mao last night and I revealed her welcome home present to her which was a dog tag. A blank one anyway, and we were discussing on what to put on it, not really...we were just wondering what to put on it, until we started joking around. I absolutely love talking to her. <3 Best fwend ftw! ^^

FM: AND ITLL SAY
FM: PROPERTY OF [CENSORED]
FM: YAYY! <3
FM: LMFAO
THT: nice
FM: PLEASE RETURN IF LOST
THT: should get that for his bday

Oh I can't imagine where I would be without her. =) Wurve yooh! =D


COUNTDOWN: 6 more days.

Picture Diary #39

This is the prettiest sake bottle I've ever seen. o.o'' Hearts flying.

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Dear Jesica
Ideal personality. Ideal appearance. Ideal taste of clothing. Can cook really well. Smiles easily. Pretty room. 3 laptops. 2 pretty cars. 1 really cute bunny. Perfect boyfriend. Perfect grades. Everything was so fairy tale like and perfect and yet you understood pain at the same time. I miss you cousin. Hope you and Jon are happy where ever you guys are. RIP.

<3
Meh.

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Dear Fishy Friend
I've known you since you were born...literally because our dads are super close and we were best friends until 1st grade started. Then we didn't really get to hang out all that much I guess, but we went our separate ways. I got more rebellious and you're super smart and you're most likely going to get accepted into a super prestigious college. It's amazing though, how we've never fought. 16 years. In the fall, 17 years, but wowwie. That's not bad. No? =)

By the way, I saw 27 dresses. It's pretty good actually. Fluffy, but served well as entertainment. Some of the lines were pretty epic. Anyways, hope that you do well and everything turns out just the way it should be for you.

Best of luck! <3
Meh.

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country [make up for O7.1O.1O]

Dear people who own shops in Taiwan
I am a huge fan of your merchandise. Thanks for owning a shop so that everyone who lives in the city that I live in likes it. Every single year. I plan on dropping by next summer, so look out world! =)

This one's so short...oh well.
Meh.

Day 15 — The person you miss the most [make up for O7.O9.1O]

Dear favorite cousin
It's almost the day, so I'm perhaps a little more moody than usual. Almost a week left. I still have the present that you gave me. It's in a little box that I keep on my desk. I don't wear it very often anymore though, but I do have a feeling that I will around this time. Sevena visits sometimes, it's like a annual ritual to go out to dinner with her on your birthday. Well...Sevena tried to move on. We both miss you a lot and sometimes I feel like she's only moving on because it would've been what you wanted. I don't really go to the hill as often anymore. Maybe it's because I don't find myself like in desperate need of comfort as much anymore. It's a little difficult to say I guess, but I know that I'll go back again this year. I feel like these past couple years it's been easier. I'm not as anti-social as before and I've been trying a little more to talk to people and get to know them. Mom and Dad are divorced, but whatever, even you saw that coming and it's been...how long? Wow.....almost 6 years.....

I sometimes think that it's a little pathetic though because it's been kind of awkward when you get older and new people ask you for your birthday. I just tell them that I hate it and leave it at that, but I'll admit that two people know the reason, but 3 people know. I'm not sure how the 3rd person found out. >.>'' But whatever. It already happened. I've been trying a lot of new things since 10th grade. It's been a learning experience and I get by. =) I'm in a hip hop club now! Aren't you amused? You were always good at dancing, you fweak. Haha. ^^

Well miss yooh, hope you and Jesica are good <3
Meh.

Me = On the Scenic Route

So I remember on the way to California Pizza Kitchen, Fai Mao gave me a verbal quiz that I found familiar to my senses as a Facebook quiz. I don't necessarily remember all of it, but I do remember the first question. The gist of it anyway. Something about if you were on your way to your crush/love/affection interest's (?) house would you take the short, unscenic (I'm pretty sure that's not a word, but oh wells...) route or the longer scenic route. I answered the longer scenic route. I adore nature and gazing upon it. I'm a dreamer like that so sucks to be me...maybe? I don't know

But anyways, me answering that question in that way means that it takes a very long time for me to fall in love. Yes....yes I supposed it does. November 1st, 2009. It's so clear to me that it's kind of creepy when I think about it. It just felt...awkward...and amusing actually.

"I like my awkwardness."

Haha...interesting no? I always thought awkward was a more anti-social thing and even if it is, then perhaps there is something just special in seeing it as a good thing. I think that it's new and exciting to discovery something like love. To remember what it's like to find yourself comparing your situation with those silly Disney stories. It's interesting. I can't stop saying interesting and amusing....oh...me. x.x Siigh~

Anyways, it does....November 1, 2009 and today is July 10th, 2010. 6 and 1/3 months. 252 days. Yeah..so what..I counted. I'm a loser. Admitting it..makes me even happier and yet...it feels like I'm living in a shadow of something that haunts and feeds on the edges of my mind. But...I feel as though that I should focus on the happiness, the warmth....

So....that's it...I guess...I guess it was quite true...when Fei Mao and another..friend were teasing me about that Hercules song that Meg sang...I am stupid though....they realized it so much more before me. It's incredible I think...how I didn't realize it...I didn't imagine myself feeling this way. I just..I didn't see it. I was freaking out over anything when I felt uncomfortable. It was..amazing. It felt..like I described it before foreign. I'm uncomfortable when foreign things are presented to me. But....I liked the way it turned out...Okay, so I did more than just like the way it turned out...x3

Edit: I found the song that they teased me about. "I Won't Say I'm In Love" Absolutely accurate in every sense. It's mind-boggling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsrP_ktr1g (I Won't Say I'm In Love)

071010 I'm Lazy

I am too lazy especially when I have to wake up and make my own breakfast in the morning because that requires me to get out of the snug nest of blankets and pillows and tiptoe to the kitchen across the cold morning floorboards.

I am way too lazy. Proof of that is when I procrastinate all the time, even when I have at least three weeks to finish a paper and I trust my writing skills enough to finish dotting my i's and crossing my t's mere hours before the deadline.

I am extremely lazy. When I wake up to the phone ringing, I glare brandishing spiteful darts at it hoping that someone picks it up while its shrills slices the uncomfortable morning air 3 feet away from my hard gaze.

I am very lazy. When my stomach is unsettling and grumbling at me, I pay no heed to its needs and keep on going along with my listless day even when I'm browsing for prose on my laptop upon the pearl tiled kitchen counter.

But…

I'm not lazy when my eyes fall upon your name scrawled across the caller ID at one in the morning because for reasons slip through my fingers as they reach for my trembling phone that is even nervous to be connecting your voice to mine.

I'm not finding myself lazy when I can slip on time by the sleeves like I'm putting on the outfits after outfits and trying to figure out which one would at least make me catch mere longer seconds of a sneaked glance from your eyes.

I'm just not all that lazy when you hold out your arms at me across the room asking for a goodbye hug, even when I've just cracked my eyes open from a nap to find myself you leaving to go on your way home.

I don't find myself lazy anymore when I find myself being engaged to a bet with you with that challenging, slippery thrill that slips playfully off the tip of your tongue because just at that moment, it becomes….right. It becomes right to hear your voice all the same, even when I'm at odds against you, in a game set anyway.

Full title: I'm Lazy, But Not With You (The Beginning Part 8)

http://slyth3r1nxcool1o.deviantart.com/art/I-m-Lazy-170793659?q=gallery%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F10479292&qo=1

071010 She Felt It

There was such excitement when they spent their time together.

She felt it when they stood side-by-side. She felt it when they spoke on the phone in whispers because they didn't want to wake up our parents. She felt it when they were being playful and throwing pillows across the room trying to take their aim at the other. She felt it when she pulled herself out of the pool and threw a splash of water at his way. She felt it when she felt a stroke of pain and he came rushing over as soon as he saw a twist of pain flash across her curled figure. She felt it when he held onto her even though her wet form was making him being covered in chlorine and water. She felt it when she buried her face into the crook of his neck when he agreed to a piggyback ride back inside the house to get her a towel out of embarrassment. She felt it when he came to check up on her and discovered tears leak out of her eye and then sat down next to her. She felt it when she felt embarrassment wash over her that he had discovered her that way. She felt it when he offered to leave because they both knew then that she didn't like showing tears falling down her face. She felt it when he apologized for his faultless, but guilty actions. She felt the sting of it when he got up to leave. She felt it tremble at the tips of her fingers when she wanted to reach out and grab at his sleeve to give him a pleading look that asked him to stay.

She felt it then. She didn't know then, but…she knows now.






So happy. ^^ I actually get it now. It feels so warm.

This one is the end of the beginning. I think...that it's more complicated than that though. Isn't it always?


Full title: She Felt It, She Felt Love (The Beginning Part 9)

http://slyth3r1nxcool1o.deviantart.com/art/She-Felt-It-170798393?q=sort%3Atime+gallery%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o&qo=0

Funfact #20

I absolutely hate resorting to medication to take away physical pain. I find it so degrading. Even though my usual solution is to just sleep it off, I, unfortunately, had to resort to it and it just disgusted me. Pain medication my butt. Ugh. I'm so annoyed ever since yesterday afternoon. What the hell. -.-

Funfact #19

* Do not tell her that there are plenty of fish in the sea.

She’ll be a smartass, she’ll say, “BUT I DON’T WANT A FISH. I WANT HIM. I WANT HIM BACK. WAHHHHHH.” Then you’re a socially awkward penguin.

* Do not tell her that he was stupid for leaving her.

She’ll be a smartass, she’ll say, “I WAS STUPID FOR LOVING HIM. WAHHHH.” Then you’re again, socially awkward penguin.

* Do not tell her that he didn’t deserve her, and that she was too good.

She’ll be a smartass, she’ll say, “IF I’M SO GOOD, WHY DID HE BREAK UP WITH ME. WAAAAAAH.” Then you’re socially awkward penguin.


What you do is, you say, “BITCH. GET THE FUCK UP. WE’RE GOING TO WAL-MART. WE ARE BUYING A GALLON OF ICE CREAM FOR YOUR MOPEY ASS, AND YOU’RE GOING TO CRY. ALL FUCKING NIGHT. YOU WILL WAKE UP TOMORROW MORNING. WE ARE BURNING ALL HIS SHIT. ALL OF IT. WE’LL GO SHOPPING, AND BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BITCHES ON THE PLANET.”

She can’t be a smartass, and you are no longer caught in a socially awkward situation. You are not a penguin, you are practically jesus.




I LOVE THIS. >=)

Picture Diary #38

=D

Picture Diary #37

Even though I don't like chocolate, I really like this picture. Doesn't it just look like a pretty piece of glass? It looks like art in my eyes. =)

Picture Diary #36

This reminded me of Fei Mao. Such big eyes even though they're Asian. O.o'' Not to mention cute! =)

Picture Diary #35

Isn't this cute? =) Although I know that if I were me, I'd be too distracted looking at them to eat them, so then I'd eat around them...and then in the end have a pile of piggy naturos to look at and slowly eat in shame because by then, they'd be cold. Yeah...I'm...a dumb one. xD

Picture Diary #34

This is an engagement cake! =O Whoooa!~ <3

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Dear Paris
I miss you. =\ It's been like a two years and a half since you've been gone and I still miss you childhood best friend. =( I'm still saving for Paris, but now I'm also saving for a Taiwan trip. Weird huh? Haha. =) I wish that you could've met your Korean in person and Emily in person. You probably would've went to go kick HIS ass, but I honestly would want to see that at this point. Luckily, Fei Mao got me through it. =) We're really close so don't worry. ^^ I'm not alone. I actually have a little bit more confidence than I used to and I'm also a little bit more indifferent about things, so I'm able to think a little more reasonably. A little more. >.>'' I still have my moments. xD Toy Story 3 came out and you would've liked it. =) Totoro was in it too! =) I was really excited. x3 Hrm. Oh yeah, I went to prom this year. It was pretty fun actually. I wish that we went to a high school dance together though. =\ Siiigh~ Well miss yah. =)

Love!
Meh. =)

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Dear my piggy loving friend
I wish that we would've talked more and now that I'm aware that you're moving away. It makes me really sad to know that you'll be separated from the place where you've grown up and found friends who have cared for you and will always cherish you. I really wish that I could've been there for you more because you were always so nice to me and you listened when I only chose to share my troubles with you. I hope that we meet again time after time even after you have moved away. I wish you the best.

Love
Meh. =)

Me = Mall Discoveries =)

So I went to Brea Mall for the first time today with a friend and Fei Mao. There were a lot of things there, but at the same time, not really a lot because there weren't any things that I found to my preference. In the end, I bought nothing from the mall and then ended up spending money at a restaurant called Buca. I have come to the conclusion that I love ravioli. Ravioli~ Ravioli~ ^^

Well anyways, we all went to Borders next and stayed there for about 2 hours. I love book stores. <3 They make me feel so comfortable and it's like going into another world finding the ones you want. =) I ended up buying a journal, a copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde and a super cheap cookbook for baking. <3 I also bought a friend of mine a small color pencil case. =) It's rather cute. ^^

Picture Diary #33

So pretty. They look ghostly even. =)

picture from: http://www.flickr.com/people/28757974@N00/

Picture Diary #32

Cupcakes! So cute! Jealous of the icing skills! <3

picture from: http://www.flickr.com/people/hello_naomi/

Me = Sucker for Art

Yes...even making food is an art. And no, those messed up scrambled eggs that you make in the morning don't count. Neither do those microwave lunches. This is what I'm talking about.

http://www.flickr.com/people/cuteobento/

I love these kind of things. =) Food that looks pretty is always nice. ^^

I didn't know that these kind of things existed. o.o'' Wow..this world is so amusing.

Picture Diary #31

Straw stars!!! I've never actually seen them, but I've heard of them! Must find out how to make these! =D I'm so excited!

Picture Diary #30

These are adorable. Absolutely adorable. I wish I had the money to be able to make these for people. They seem like they would be able to make people smile at least. ^^


picture from: http://www.flickr.com/people/hello_naomi/

Picture Diary #29

Ferris wheel at the end of the Champs Elysees. Siiigh~ I wanna go. =\

picture from: http://www.flickr.com/people/hello_naomi/

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Dear either Choi Minho, Lee Seung Hyun or Lee Taemin

Choi Minho: I love your voice and in all honesty. I want to learn how to rap from you. My crush reminds me of you and therefore he's called wannabe Minho. Uhhh....right...Haha ^^'' But besides that, keep up the good work oppa. =) Fighting!~ From what I've seen on the Shinee's YunHaNam show, your personality is the most ideal...at least..I think so. >w< Currently, you're my favorite Korean star. =) Yay! ^^

Lee Seung Hyun: You got me addicted to Korean music and I think that you're adorable. =) Your vanity though is apparently the funniest thing ever, but not in a bad way. After becoming more familiar with Big Bang music, me and my best friend have been fantasizing about becoming Korean pop stars. Unfortunately...neither of us are Korean and neither of us know Korean. It's...sad. =\ But enough of all that negativity, Fighting oppa! ^^

Lee Taemin: I want to know what it's like being my age and being a star. I imagine it to be different from what I imagine it as, but it was your dream career apparently so I'm hoping that you're making the best out of it. =) I heard from my friend that she heard or read from somewhere that you were being bullied at school because you were a star. Don't be discouraged! They're just jealous of you and the attention that you're getting. Fighting! =)

Love and all my wishes
Meh. =)

Card #15

A birthday card for a close friend. =)

original design: http://celesse.deviantart.com/art/Cupcake-Kitties-Revisited-154522508?q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=199

original design's artist: http://celesse.deviantart.com/

Card #14

FRONT

This was a happy birthday card for someone.

original design: http://cartoongirl7.deviantart.com/art/Bubble-Diaries-Page-3-139233280?qj=3&q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=787

original design's artist: http://cartoongirl7.deviantart.com/


DESIGN IN THE INSIDE CORNER


BACK

Card #13

This one was to ask someone to Sadies with. I based the dress off of an actual dress that I wore.

original design: http://zeiva.deviantart.com/art/Waiting-For-You-108278165?qj=2&q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=556

original design's artist: http://zeiva.deviantart.com/

Card #12

This was one that my mom requested. =)

original design: http://instant-moka.deviantart.com/art/Fly-modified-110954230?qj=2&q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=629

original design's artist: http://instant-moka.deviantart.com/

Card #11

My friend was feeling really down for awhile so I gave him a present and a card to try to cheer him up.

original design: http://cartoongirl7.deviantart.com/art/Vintage-149347321?qj=1&q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=303

original design's artist: http://cartoongirl7.deviantart.com/

Card #10

Christmas card. =)

Card #9

I don't really remember what card this one was exactly. >.>'' Oops...~

original design: http://hellobaby.deviantart.com/art/Piggo-s-Origin-89486257?qj=1&q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=344

original design's artist: http://hellobaby.deviantart.com/

Card #8

FRONT

This one was a happy birthday card to a UCLA student. =) And yes I censored out the name and the text I wrote in the card.

used original design: http://dannyyan.deviantart.com/art/Gloomy-Bear-91077696?qj=3&q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=737

original design's artist: http://dannyyan.deviantart.com/


BACK

Card #7

Another get well soon card. =)

original design: http://sakura-kindness.deviantart.com/art/Dear-Earth-120867059?qj=2&q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=664

original design's artist: http://sakura-kindness.deviantart.com/

Card #6

This one was a thank you card. =) Because the person took me out to places to try to cheer me up from family drama. ^^

original design: http://firstfear.deviantart.com/art/Wallpaper-Apple-House-47456713?qj=2&q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=675

original design's artist: http://firstfear.deviantart.com/

Card #5

this was a get well soon card =)


original design: http://mikeinel.deviantart.com/art/Happy-Heart-136963460?qj=2&q=favby%3Aslyth3r1nxcool1o%2F11467284&qo=711

original design's artist: http://mikeinel.deviantart.com/

Card #4

Get Well Soon Card =)

text from Left to right (up to down):

Get Well Soon

fail blue virus that looks like it's about to cry its eyeballs out

LOOKIE!! this cell looks part lion or sun...oh well...lion-cell say RAWR! >w<

yes, it's supposedly a white blood cell, and it ended up looking like some "starfish", Mr. Angry Starfish

i honestly have no comment for this one...>->''

dinosaur Barney virus? mocking the fail white blood cell .__.

supposedly a virus, but it just neded up looking like a nuts-&-bolts looking sun trying to run away from the "white blood cell"

original design: http://a-little-kitty.deviantart.com/art/Microawwganisms-140083265?q=gallery%3AA-Little-Kitty%2F24528404&qo=34

original design's artist: http://a-little-kitty.deviantart.com/

Card #3

I don't remember what this card was for. >.>''

Card #2

This one was for mom's coworker because she gave me a lot of artsy craftsy books to look through. =) So thank you! ^^

Card #1

I really like making these kind of cards. =) It's always fun to make the flowers. ^^ <3

Me = Dream Job

So what I want to be when I grow up is to design things like displays during social events like 4th of July city events or little greeting cards. I swear that if I could do that, I'd be happy for the rest of my life, occupation-wise anyway. =) Hrm. My camera memory has quite a few pictures of cards that I've made and it's taking up room. x.x I think that I'm going to just post them here and make room. Yeah. That doesn't sound too bad.

Recording things are starting to become important to me. I've said this before, but I just stand so firmly by it. I feel like if I don't remember them, nobody else will because they're my memories and it's important for me to remember things. They're a part of me and they make who I am. =\ Too mushy? Hrm. Maybe.

Me = Toy Story 3 and Good Talks

So I saw Toy Story 3 on Thursday and I had a pretty good talk with my best friend yesterday..well technically it was this morning. But yeah, moving on.

Toy Story 3 was pretty good. It was deeper than I expected it to be, but the message underneath all the talking toys was pretty Disney anyway. Kudos to Disney for changing up their ways of presenting their same corny message though. Might I also applaud Disney for adding Totoro in there. =) Totoro was one of the toys that a little girl played with in the movie and I was quite excited when it came on the screen. =D So excited in fact that I embarrassed myself when I pointed at the screen and called out, "TOTORO!" without realizing it until people were laughing. xD Oh....the dorkiness of failure. There was a bear who was the antagonist in it called Lazo(?) Lazzo(?) Well...something like that and I swear...that Barney colored teddy bear could not have smelled like strawberries with it's demented twisted personality and its dirty complexion. No sir-ree. Pft.

Good talks. I rather enjoy them. Especially when you have them with the person that you consider the closest to. So the topic was on something that I personally think used to be kind of touchy. Still is, but just not as much anymore anyway. Although, I feel like something has been lifted off of my shoulders or something. Not like passing it onto someone else, but a weight as been lifted off and it feels comforting. Thanks. =)

Me = Stirring Art Insight

I really like this advertisement I saw that was mixed in with the commercials before the movie The Lovely Bones.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkxGLVs1Syg

Found it on youtube. =) Thank you youtube! =D It seems so cheerful and simple. Quite ideal. =)

Picture Diary #28

I really like this picture. It's so cute. In all honesty, a friend showed me this picture and said that it reminded her of my situation. XD Heh...right...

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Dear JC
You're amusing. Sometimes kinda stupid, but it's the funny kind of stupid. I know that I poke fun at you a lot, but it's just because you make it way too easy. You bring me a different perspective and I find it pretty interesting looking at life through another person's eyes. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the person that you'd expect to think about every time, but I'm just appreciating the different viewpoints of life that you bring to my mind. They're pretty good pieces as food for thought. Even though your convincing skills suck rainbow unicorns, I forgive you because you're entertaining and you always find a way to make me look at myself through someone else's point of view so that I can see the things that I can improve on. =) It's nice having someone like you there. ^^

By the way, we need to make more bets because it's pretty fun. =)
Meh.

Me = Picture Diary #27 and Funfact #18

I like lights. =) They're so pretty.

I am also DEFINITELY coming here. This is the London Eye. =) Pretty right?

Picture Diary #26

Whoa... o.o'' I want to learn how to ice a cupcake like that. That is pretty legit. =O

Picture Diary #25

I find this cute. =) Sweet love. ^^ Hehe. x3

Picture Diary #24

I find this absolutely amazing. =O I wish I could bake like this. Wowwies. O.O

Day 6 — A stranger

Dear Stranger from the phone
I don't need you calling my house almost everyday and just not saying anything. I have better things to do than pick up your stupid butt faced call and just listen to silence. Restricted my lazy summer-sleeping butt. Even though I highly doubt you're going to read this. I DON'T need you trying to find some random time almost EVERY SINGLE DAY wasting MY time because even though I don't really have anything planned doesn't mean that I plan to look forward to YELLING AT YOUR QUIET BUTT over the receiver. Kindly refrain from calling me because I can find out who you are by adding caller ID. So come on. Try calling me again. =) Because hey, I have the rest of the summer. How would you like it if I called you every single day and just not say anything? =)

Fantastical Love,
Meh

Side note: Russell Peters is so funny. =)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0FWsyvCsSk

Day 5 — Your dreams [make-up for O6.3O.1O]

Dear dreams

Nightmares: Why are you a replay of the worst moments of my life? Even if I did learn from you, the reminders are like squeezing my mind until there's just an unhappy lasting bruise that lasts on my mind for days on end. It doesn't even help that you are even far worst because everything seem to be amplified and created into the snacking monsters that nip and nibble against the frayed edges of my next day's thoughts.

Big Bang dreams: You should happen more often. They seem to amuse Fei Mao and make fairly decent memories. =)

ShinEE dreams: You should stop teasing me about wannabe-minho. xD It's kind of embarrassing, even if it is a nice thought that it would happen.

Dreams that sprout from hyperness: You never fail to amuse me. =) You bring out the kind of moments where I remember a part of it and start laughing out of nowhere and make me look like some unfortunate dork. Buuuut who cares? xD Haha.

Love,
Meh =)