I supposed this is very late news, and I deeply apologize for it, but I only have 2 readers....so I suppose it's not all that heartbreaking.
I have a new blog, as well as the news that it shall be immensely rare that I post anything on this one anymore. Probably once every year? If any posts at all....anyways the new one is called:
colourmoichic.blogspot.com
It's a rather girly blog, but the purpose of this blog is for me to build confidence as an aspiring artist. I'm taking a Business Practices in Art class in college right now and one of the class sessions was about confidence...which I intensely lack in myself, so I figured since it's been said many times that I fail as a girl, I could work on that and slowly learn female-ly aspects while building my confidence at the same time. Perhaps it's not the most interesting idea, but to me, it's certainly one that makes sense at the moment. (:
But please check it out. ^^ Thankies for reading though! Much appreciated.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Me = College!
Summer's over! (: and let's go down the list and see what I did.
Disneyland! [YES]
Disney Expo! [YES]
BW Life Camp! [YES]
Moving Out
Painting!! [YES]
Epic Packing!!
DRIVING!
Find a Job
Midnight Showing of Harry Potter [YES]
LACMA [YES]
Las Vegas?
Road Trip?
Started college. And so far it's pretty awesome sauce. (: Started painting a lot, and thinking about selling them, assuming I can. Anyways...I'm in the library and typing this....I should do my homework. Aite. Kkbyethx.
Disneyland! [YES]
Disney Expo! [YES]
BW Life Camp! [YES]
Moving Out
Painting!! [YES]
Epic Packing!!
DRIVING!
Find a Job
Midnight Showing of Harry Potter [YES]
LACMA [YES]
Las Vegas?
Road Trip?
Started college. And so far it's pretty awesome sauce. (: Started painting a lot, and thinking about selling them, assuming I can. Anyways...I'm in the library and typing this....I should do my homework. Aite. Kkbyethx.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Me = Quote
"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."
Monday, June 6, 2011
Me = Summer Plans
I've been asked multiple times what I was doing this summer, so I figured I could just post here to see if I actually got to do it by the end of the summer.
Disneyland!
Disney Expo!
BW Life Camp!
Moving Out
Painting!!
Epic Packing!!
DRIVING!
Find a Job
Midnight Showing of Harry Potter
LACMA
Las Vegas?
Road Trip?
Disneyland!
Disney Expo!
BW Life Camp!
Moving Out
Painting!!
Epic Packing!!
DRIVING!
Find a Job
Midnight Showing of Harry Potter
LACMA
Las Vegas?
Road Trip?
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Funfact #61
I'm graduating today...holy hizzles of creamed soda! >.< And I'm freaking out!....not that that's anything new though...XD
Funfact #60
I LOVE MOZZARELLA STICKS! :) kee kee kee. :3 Right now my favorite are from BJs, but you never know! Considering that I don't go out to eat American food very often.....
Funfact #59
http://www.allthingspaper.net/2009/04/jo-lynn-alcorn.html
Jo Lynn Alcorn is freaking amazing! o_____o Dang! I am such a fan of her work. I really like her nature works. It's pretty nice. :)
http://www.jolynnalcorn.com/
Jo Lynn Alcorn is freaking amazing! o_____o Dang! I am such a fan of her work. I really like her nature works. It's pretty nice. :)
http://www.jolynnalcorn.com/
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Me = Graduating :)
So Prom happened, school is pretty much over, currently finding a place and roommates, as well as currently just had taken a bubble bath with my new bubblies. :3 Anyways, I have discovered that Bath and Body Works has discontinued my favorite scent AGAIN. ;^; First Country Apple now Rain-kissed Leaves. @^@ Le sigh.
I'm more motivated now to draw/paint on my own. I think it's a pretty good thing. :) I'll try to post more often since summer is coming. <3 Promise!~
I'm more motivated now to draw/paint on my own. I think it's a pretty good thing. :) I'll try to post more often since summer is coming. <3 Promise!~
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Chickenscratch #15
She leaned her head against the Starbucks wall as she looked up every once in awhile at the door. The other times were spent looking at her drink as her cell phone was lain on the table in front of her. She didn't enjoy this...waiting game. The thought that she was stuck in one made her want to swipe the hot tea she had in front of her across the table to the empty seat. She hated playing games, but unfortunately she was stuck in one. One that she couldn't get out of.
Bzz. Bzz. Swiftly in one swoop, she picked up the phone, flipped it up and her eyebrows smoothed out.
"Yes?" She didn't find the need to give a out a hello. She tried to imagine the other person on the other end of the phone cringing since at the moment, she wanted her ego to be fed.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm so late again. Are you already there?" Yes....for 3 hours.
"No..it's okay. I took a short nap anyway." And got hit on in the process, but he didn't have to know that because she could take care of herself perfectly fine, especially since she had to sacrifice a damn hot coffee just to tell the persistent male to screw off.
"Always the sleep addict." His laugh lessened her irritation, but besides that, the little anime x upon her forehead didn't completely disappear. "Anyways, I'll be there in 10 minutes. Promise! You'll wait right?" Where else would she go....she already declined the multiple calls where her roommate offered to take her home since it was raining and she was stupid enough to leave her jacket in the damn wash instead of drying it since she was a lazy person.
"Of course. I'll still be here," she sighed.
"You okay?"
"Mm, a little tired..."
"Take another nap, I'll be there before you know it!" She smiled, agreed and they said goodbye. Lazily, she leaned against the wall again and felt her eyelids droop.
--------------------------
When she awoke again, she felt her left hand being held lightly. She looked up, blinking absently and smiled. There was a new cup of coffee in front of her and a white rose balanced on top of it. Although...the coffee certainly wasn't steaming anymore.
"I can order another one." She looked up at him and he was reading a packet she assumed for work. His hair was tossed and muzzed up and she gave him an amused smile.
"No..I'm not thirsty. And you call me a sleeping addict."
"Shut up....besides you like it better this way." She nodded and leaned over to give him a small peck on the cheek.
"Welcome home." He smiled back and pressed his lips to her forehead. they both got up and was about to leave when she felt someone staring at her. She looked around and saw the one who had woken her up earlier, which has been awarded a very obvious coffee stain upon his shirt. He followed her eyes when she realized that she was staring at someone and realized the stain instantly and smirked and nodded at him. Laughing, she lightly swatted him as they left, "You're suck a jerk."
Bzz. Bzz. Swiftly in one swoop, she picked up the phone, flipped it up and her eyebrows smoothed out.
"Yes?" She didn't find the need to give a out a hello. She tried to imagine the other person on the other end of the phone cringing since at the moment, she wanted her ego to be fed.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm so late again. Are you already there?" Yes....for 3 hours.
"No..it's okay. I took a short nap anyway." And got hit on in the process, but he didn't have to know that because she could take care of herself perfectly fine, especially since she had to sacrifice a damn hot coffee just to tell the persistent male to screw off.
"Always the sleep addict." His laugh lessened her irritation, but besides that, the little anime x upon her forehead didn't completely disappear. "Anyways, I'll be there in 10 minutes. Promise! You'll wait right?" Where else would she go....she already declined the multiple calls where her roommate offered to take her home since it was raining and she was stupid enough to leave her jacket in the damn wash instead of drying it since she was a lazy person.
"Of course. I'll still be here," she sighed.
"You okay?"
"Mm, a little tired..."
"Take another nap, I'll be there before you know it!" She smiled, agreed and they said goodbye. Lazily, she leaned against the wall again and felt her eyelids droop.
--------------------------
When she awoke again, she felt her left hand being held lightly. She looked up, blinking absently and smiled. There was a new cup of coffee in front of her and a white rose balanced on top of it. Although...the coffee certainly wasn't steaming anymore.
"I can order another one." She looked up at him and he was reading a packet she assumed for work. His hair was tossed and muzzed up and she gave him an amused smile.
"No..I'm not thirsty. And you call me a sleeping addict."
"Shut up....besides you like it better this way." She nodded and leaned over to give him a small peck on the cheek.
"Welcome home." He smiled back and pressed his lips to her forehead. they both got up and was about to leave when she felt someone staring at her. She looked around and saw the one who had woken her up earlier, which has been awarded a very obvious coffee stain upon his shirt. He followed her eyes when she realized that she was staring at someone and realized the stain instantly and smirked and nodded at him. Laughing, she lightly swatted him as they left, "You're suck a jerk."
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Funfact #58
I am rather fond of this idea. :) And now fond of this blog. Time to follow! Pokemon status! :3
http://quillingwithfun.blogspot.com/2010/09/blog-post.html
Funfact #57
This is just precious. :) Everything out of paper too! :D Goshums....
http://quillingwithfun.blogspot.com/2010/09/wedding-rings.html
Funfact #56
I am absolutely delighted to find this post. :) It's so pretty, but simple. ^^
http://quillingwithfun.blogspot.com/2011/01/ikebana.html
Funfact #55
I'm not sure why I never came across this, but it was on one of the blogs that I follow...soooo tah daaaah! :) Isn't it wonderful? ^^
Suzana Ilic is from Siberia and this is just so festive and fun. ^^ I need to start saving money for stuff like this now...either that of still keep at it with the paintings....yeah, maybe I should still do that first so I get a basic foundation...but oh this is so fuuuun~ Decisions, decisions~ Sigh.
Suzana Ilic is from Siberia and this is just so festive and fun. ^^ I need to start saving money for stuff like this now...either that of still keep at it with the paintings....yeah, maybe I should still do that first so I get a basic foundation...but oh this is so fuuuun~ Decisions, decisions~ Sigh.
Funfact #54
Neapolitan Woman, 2010, after Stanzione's ca. 1635 portrait
http://allthingspaper-annmartin.blogspot.com/2011/04/pulp-fashion-art-of-isabelle-de.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+AllThingsPaper+%28all+things+paper%29
Holy crap! This is so awesome! :) Ahhhhhh!~ Isabelle de Borchgrave you are freaking amazing!!!!!!! I am now a huge fan of your work! So awesome!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Me = Satisfied.
I'm in one of those moods.
I'm young.
I have friends.
I have people who are there for me when I can't stand myself.
I don't have to really pay for housing.
I can make some side money.
I go to school.
I'm majoring in something that I want to pursue.
I live in a family that's not in poverty.
I really need to have these moods more often. It seems to make everything worth more while.
I'm young.
I have friends.
I have people who are there for me when I can't stand myself.
I don't have to really pay for housing.
I can make some side money.
I go to school.
I'm majoring in something that I want to pursue.
I live in a family that's not in poverty.
I really need to have these moods more often. It seems to make everything worth more while.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Me = Back to Monday
It's Monday again! But it's not really the stereotypical hateful Monday. I'm actually in a good mood for once....I just find that amusing enough to blog about it. Yeah...no life. Well, Mom's in Canada, so I'm having to arrange some rides around. Hopefully, by the end of this summer, I won't have to do that anymore. Bothering people for rides isn't very preferred. Frown. Hm.
I've realized that sometimes...things just suck overall and there's nothing you can do about it. It's a very depressing way to go about it, but still. Note to self: Need to be more confident. Still working on that. You'd think that by now, I'd at least have a little more self worth. Le sigh.
I've realized that sometimes...things just suck overall and there's nothing you can do about it. It's a very depressing way to go about it, but still. Note to self: Need to be more confident. Still working on that. You'd think that by now, I'd at least have a little more self worth. Le sigh.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Me = P.S. I Love You Style
So...Auntie went to my cousin's room for the first time in years, and was just cleaning out his desk, when she stumbled upon a closed envelope. Wasn't labeled anything, but there was something in it with a letter, so she looked through it against the light and saw my name so gave it to me when she came to visit today for dinner. To be just straight out honest, I didn't want to open it at first. Instead of Mt. Sac homework, Mt. Sac projects and art stuff for school, I just stared at it, while organizing clothes in the guest room for this fundraiser me and my friend are having on Facebook where we're selling our stuff to help the relief in Japan. Unfortunately...organizing clothes is like laundry, it gives your hands something to do, but it's just such mindless work that your brain just wanders everywhere, only this time, it wasn't wandering...even if I wish it did....damn.
There was a ring in the envelope along with a letter, congratulating me that I had graduated from college, and that he knew that I could do it. The ring was something that I had seen when I was in elementary school one time when I was hanging out with him and his older sister, and I said that I thought it was cool. Obviously, it didn't fit on my finger at the time. (Weird that it still doesn't..well it kind of? fits on my thumb?) He had jokingly said that if I was desperate that I could put it on a chain and wear it. Wow....son of a bitch.
There was a ring in the envelope along with a letter, congratulating me that I had graduated from college, and that he knew that I could do it. The ring was something that I had seen when I was in elementary school one time when I was hanging out with him and his older sister, and I said that I thought it was cool. Obviously, it didn't fit on my finger at the time. (Weird that it still doesn't..well it kind of? fits on my thumb?) He had jokingly said that if I was desperate that I could put it on a chain and wear it. Wow....son of a bitch.
Chickenscratch #14
You know...these weird dreams? With little girls? It's eerie, and sometimes? It's just natural. It's weird.
-----------------------------------
There was a little girl walking with someone just ahead of her. She couldn't have been older than 6, but she spoke like a college student. When a little rabbit darted in front of them, she squealed in excitement and went running after it.
"Don't run too fast! You'll fall!" The little girl didn't slow down, but instead stumbled over her own feet and went tumbling to a nearby bush. She fell so far into the bush that by the time the person went to go get her out, she was covered in tiny cuts and scrapes. "What did I say, you rebellious child?" the person teasingly scolded and lightly tapped her little nose. She winced.
"I'm sorry! I'll be careful next time!"
"Good." They kept on walking and the person grew taller and taller. From the back, it seemed as though the person was growing older. 17..18...19...20...21....25....27...30....34.....38....
Soon, the person dropped the little girl's hand and started to walk away towards another girl, taller, amazingly pretty, beautiful smile and such a kind face. They held hands and started to walk away. The little girl was distracted when he had dropped her hand and had been playing tag with a little black butterfly that was fluttering around her. When she realized that they were walking farther and farther ahead, she called to him and started to run. She wasn't careful and tripped and went stumbling, scraping her knees and palms. Not even completely standing up, she went charging after them and called his name again. It was as if time was playing an all too cruel trick on her, making her seem like she was getting slower like she was running in water. Again and again she would fall and scrape her knees and palms more and more. They were red with spots of blood by the time they were about to cross the street and she happily ran faster, excited that she was able to catch up even though at a certain point they had been just a dot to her squinting eyes. As she caught up to them, the pretty girl wasn't so pretty anymore. She was wearing a horrible scowl on her face and her equally horrible hand struck his face, knocking him off his feet and making him land backwards onto the grass. At this point, time was cruel again and made her freeze and watch the pretty girl walk away from him so carelessly and so indifferently. When he looked to the side, he cupped his swollen cheek. The little girl's eyes widened. He looked 40 and so upset at himself. When time let her move again, she quickly ran to him. As he was in a sitting position, she wasn't much taller than him when she ran up to him. She took his head into her arms and cried.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't do that again," she kept on apologizing. He seemed to understand and kissed her fondly upon her forehead.
-----------------------------------
There was a little girl walking with someone just ahead of her. She couldn't have been older than 6, but she spoke like a college student. When a little rabbit darted in front of them, she squealed in excitement and went running after it.
"Don't run too fast! You'll fall!" The little girl didn't slow down, but instead stumbled over her own feet and went tumbling to a nearby bush. She fell so far into the bush that by the time the person went to go get her out, she was covered in tiny cuts and scrapes. "What did I say, you rebellious child?" the person teasingly scolded and lightly tapped her little nose. She winced.
"I'm sorry! I'll be careful next time!"
"Good." They kept on walking and the person grew taller and taller. From the back, it seemed as though the person was growing older. 17..18...19...20...21....25....27...30....34.....38....
Soon, the person dropped the little girl's hand and started to walk away towards another girl, taller, amazingly pretty, beautiful smile and such a kind face. They held hands and started to walk away. The little girl was distracted when he had dropped her hand and had been playing tag with a little black butterfly that was fluttering around her. When she realized that they were walking farther and farther ahead, she called to him and started to run. She wasn't careful and tripped and went stumbling, scraping her knees and palms. Not even completely standing up, she went charging after them and called his name again. It was as if time was playing an all too cruel trick on her, making her seem like she was getting slower like she was running in water. Again and again she would fall and scrape her knees and palms more and more. They were red with spots of blood by the time they were about to cross the street and she happily ran faster, excited that she was able to catch up even though at a certain point they had been just a dot to her squinting eyes. As she caught up to them, the pretty girl wasn't so pretty anymore. She was wearing a horrible scowl on her face and her equally horrible hand struck his face, knocking him off his feet and making him land backwards onto the grass. At this point, time was cruel again and made her freeze and watch the pretty girl walk away from him so carelessly and so indifferently. When he looked to the side, he cupped his swollen cheek. The little girl's eyes widened. He looked 40 and so upset at himself. When time let her move again, she quickly ran to him. As he was in a sitting position, she wasn't much taller than him when she ran up to him. She took his head into her arms and cried.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't do that again," she kept on apologizing. He seemed to understand and kissed her fondly upon her forehead.
Chickenscratch #13
"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter." It was like a chant. A string of constant desperate murmuring. A low mumbling of irony.
But it does matter.
"Shut up! It doesn't matter!" A few people were passing by when she screamed, but they didn't exist to her. She was alone in front of a mirror with a little girl stuck in the mirror.
Don't lie. I thought you promised you wouldn't do that anymore.
"It SHOULDN'T matter."
Don't be foolish. Even if it shouldn't, it still does matter to you, how they died.
"It's not my fault."
Oh, but it is. Deep down you know it is.
"No...no..noo...NO!" And with that her eyes widened and her cheeks were sickly pale. The little girl was smiling wickedly with tears streaming down her face. That smile.
But it does matter.
"Shut up! It doesn't matter!" A few people were passing by when she screamed, but they didn't exist to her. She was alone in front of a mirror with a little girl stuck in the mirror.
Don't lie. I thought you promised you wouldn't do that anymore.
"It SHOULDN'T matter."
Don't be foolish. Even if it shouldn't, it still does matter to you, how they died.
"It's not my fault."
Oh, but it is. Deep down you know it is.
"No...no..noo...NO!" And with that her eyes widened and her cheeks were sickly pale. The little girl was smiling wickedly with tears streaming down her face. That smile.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Me = Eye Oogling at Sushi
Not the actual sushi...although I so wish.
http://allthingspaper-annmartin.blogspot.com/2009/08/clare-wongoilan.html
Isn't it cool? :) I rather thought it was enjoyable to see. ^^
SuckerPunch tomorrow with Fae Mao and Nikki. Don't really care about how people say it's just a live anime video game. Yeah..um..that's the point? >.>'' And I don't understand how critics explain how the movie doesn't make sense...the girl is locked away in a mental asylum, how much logic..do you expect her to have compared to a supposedly normal human being? Just sit and enjoy the visuals. Thanks.
Grandparents are coming next Thursday. I foresee a very blatant wavering mindset in the near future. Although soon afterwards shall be Wicked and a Ski Trip. I currently have money to rent a snowboard. Yep!
The idea of dispersing away in different directions reminds me of a panicked population in a city when there is an alien invasion taking place, which is currently what I am experiencing. Just thought throw up and panic, but I suppose that is what happens when you become attached to someone. The idea of leaving is fairly an ugly reality that just is very unappealing in every aspect. I guess this is a chance to be truly independent if I have to play the optimistic role.
I have to be saving for prom...which is..hm....I don't know. The idea of prom is pretty fun, but the idea of spending that horrid amount is not. Groans. Hopefully, I won't have to pay everything I guess....
I'm hungry. -goes off to find food-
http://allthingspaper-annmartin.blogspot.com/2009/08/clare-wongoilan.html
Isn't it cool? :) I rather thought it was enjoyable to see. ^^
SuckerPunch tomorrow with Fae Mao and Nikki. Don't really care about how people say it's just a live anime video game. Yeah..um..that's the point? >.>'' And I don't understand how critics explain how the movie doesn't make sense...the girl is locked away in a mental asylum, how much logic..do you expect her to have compared to a supposedly normal human being? Just sit and enjoy the visuals. Thanks.
Grandparents are coming next Thursday. I foresee a very blatant wavering mindset in the near future. Although soon afterwards shall be Wicked and a Ski Trip. I currently have money to rent a snowboard. Yep!
The idea of dispersing away in different directions reminds me of a panicked population in a city when there is an alien invasion taking place, which is currently what I am experiencing. Just thought throw up and panic, but I suppose that is what happens when you become attached to someone. The idea of leaving is fairly an ugly reality that just is very unappealing in every aspect. I guess this is a chance to be truly independent if I have to play the optimistic role.
I have to be saving for prom...which is..hm....I don't know. The idea of prom is pretty fun, but the idea of spending that horrid amount is not. Groans. Hopefully, I won't have to pay everything I guess....
I'm hungry. -goes off to find food-
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Me = COLLEGE YIPS
How I Met Your Mother has taught me some things. TV shows overall have taught me quite a few things. Fae Mao....taught me many things. Life....don't get me cliche-ly started. ANYWAYS.....
(since I'm at work, but technically I feel the need to rant..here it goes...)
TO UCSD: You are TOTALLY MISSING OUT by not accepting my best friend. YEAH, I said it.
TO CSUF: PLEASE TELL ME IF I'M ACCEPTED OR NOT SOON! ;^;
TO WORK: This is NOT what I wanted when I mean that I wanted a little extra money on the side.
TO HIM: SHADDUP AND JUST LOOK AT ME FOR WHO I AM, NOT FOR WHO I WAS.
TO....UGH: STOP CALLING ME. I'M NOT YOUR THERAPIST. I'M NOT ANYBODY. I'M NOBODY.
TO STRESS: You will be the end of me someday.
TO MUSIC: Thanks for helping out so much.
TO BFF: SUCKS TO BE THAT COLLEGE BECAUSE THEY ARE MISSING OUT! D=
TO SCHOOL: END ALREADY! =.=
(since I'm at work, but technically I feel the need to rant..here it goes...)
TO UCSD: You are TOTALLY MISSING OUT by not accepting my best friend. YEAH, I said it.
TO CSUF: PLEASE TELL ME IF I'M ACCEPTED OR NOT SOON! ;^;
TO WORK: This is NOT what I wanted when I mean that I wanted a little extra money on the side.
TO HIM: SHADDUP AND JUST LOOK AT ME FOR WHO I AM, NOT FOR WHO I WAS.
TO....UGH: STOP CALLING ME. I'M NOT YOUR THERAPIST. I'M NOT ANYBODY. I'M NOBODY.
TO STRESS: You will be the end of me someday.
TO MUSIC: Thanks for helping out so much.
TO BFF: SUCKS TO BE THAT COLLEGE BECAUSE THEY ARE MISSING OUT! D=
TO SCHOOL: END ALREADY! =.=
Chickenscratch #12
You know what's weird....ACTUALLY BELIEVING THIS KIND OF STUFF. It's weird. It's just burned into my mind now and the fact that this character in my dream is experiencing this is just...huh? It's confusing......
------------------------------------------
The first time that she realized that she had feelings for him socked her right in the stomach. It was like a freight train of panicking horror and courageous shock. She had always just assumed that she admired him and was thankful to him for being there for her when she felt like she was going to just snap from thinking too much. A stampede of conflictions rammed into her head like those final battles in action movies. She was barely starting a life on her own. She always wanted to see him when she wished for someone to be there for her. He would never see her that way. His personality matched up with hers in so many ways. She would only hinder him from his dream girl, from improving himself and meeting new people. She wanted to be that dream girl. He would only be tied down. She wanted to be the one who anchored him when he needed it.
Excusing herself to the bathroom, she quickly left and she could only hear her heels clack against the tiled floor of the restaurant. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. It was a constant siren, blaring the realization and burning into her consciousness. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my……freaking…GOD! Why…Why did it have to be him…..it just made things so much more complicated. It just blazed against the frazzled ends of her nerves. She didn't love him, but she felt just complicated things. It felt beautiful and graceful, but careless and selfish. It was gently bittersweet, but sinfully smoldering. She braced herself against the side of the sink and splashed cold water on her face. Her cheeks had been too cherry-colored for her liking. She slowly closed her eyes, breathed, and then counted backwards from ten, telling herself that once she was at zero that she would be fine and go back completely normal. 10…(This felt…so far-fetched.) 9…(This just had to be absolutely impossible.) 8…(She just had a crazy, abnormal thought.) 7…(It didn't matter even if it was true.) 6…(Nothing would happen even if she did go for it.) 5…(It would only end in heartbreak.) 4…(How could she think so inappropriately?) 3…(Nothing would matter.) 2…(She would stand her ground.) 1…(She was thinking too much again. Hahaha.) 0.
She opened her eyes, fixed her hair, and went back outside to the table where he was with their friend who they haven't seen in a really long time.
"It's my turn to go to the bathroom now," he got up and left the table.
"So, I'm curious…" she started and their friend looked up at her, "What kind of guy do you think I want?"
"One who leaves you alone because you're independent and one who's able to show that he cares, even though on the outside he may not look it. One who knows how to have fun and knows what you like, but is willing to try new things. One who will let be depressed."
Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Hm…nope. Last one was off, but her interested look didn't betray her. She had to play her cards right. This theory their friend had was interesting. It kind of sucked though that the two of them were in his "database" now and that everything was going to get a lot harder. It was….it was simply just annoying. She immediately rejected the thought as soon as it tried to crawl back.
"You're partly wrong," she said simply just when he came back from the bathroom.
"About?"
"This is interesting. Figure it out," she challenged and smirked. She was pretty sure that it didn't occur to him that all she wanted was right there, but it was too late. She already knew that he was picky and she already knew that she didn't fit the criteria. In the end, she just wasn't what he was looking for. She had far too long of a time to wait. She spent the rest of the night that day laughing and listening to theories. Lots and lots of theories. Interesting ones. Ones she understood. Ones she challenged. All of them, in the end accepted, completely.
"Why so serious? That's my favorite line, and it's true. Life is just a game…." Their friend kept going, but by the time she got home she wouldn't be able to recall the words quite so accurately, but the message had come across just fine, nice and loud and perfectly cookie-cutter simple.
A game. She had heard the saying before many a time, but the way their friend had explained it, made perfect sense. Fully aware that she was a sore loser, she smirked. She loved a challenge. (The backward countdown she had with her reflection in the bathroom was long forgotten.) If life was a game, then she was going to comply and play. Let this fantastic learning experience start. Let this wonderfully simple game begin.
------------------------------------------
The first time that she realized that she had feelings for him socked her right in the stomach. It was like a freight train of panicking horror and courageous shock. She had always just assumed that she admired him and was thankful to him for being there for her when she felt like she was going to just snap from thinking too much. A stampede of conflictions rammed into her head like those final battles in action movies. She was barely starting a life on her own. She always wanted to see him when she wished for someone to be there for her. He would never see her that way. His personality matched up with hers in so many ways. She would only hinder him from his dream girl, from improving himself and meeting new people. She wanted to be that dream girl. He would only be tied down. She wanted to be the one who anchored him when he needed it.
Excusing herself to the bathroom, she quickly left and she could only hear her heels clack against the tiled floor of the restaurant. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. It was a constant siren, blaring the realization and burning into her consciousness. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my……freaking…GOD! Why…Why did it have to be him…..it just made things so much more complicated. It just blazed against the frazzled ends of her nerves. She didn't love him, but she felt just complicated things. It felt beautiful and graceful, but careless and selfish. It was gently bittersweet, but sinfully smoldering. She braced herself against the side of the sink and splashed cold water on her face. Her cheeks had been too cherry-colored for her liking. She slowly closed her eyes, breathed, and then counted backwards from ten, telling herself that once she was at zero that she would be fine and go back completely normal. 10…(This felt…so far-fetched.) 9…(This just had to be absolutely impossible.) 8…(She just had a crazy, abnormal thought.) 7…(It didn't matter even if it was true.) 6…(Nothing would happen even if she did go for it.) 5…(It would only end in heartbreak.) 4…(How could she think so inappropriately?) 3…(Nothing would matter.) 2…(She would stand her ground.) 1…(She was thinking too much again. Hahaha.) 0.
She opened her eyes, fixed her hair, and went back outside to the table where he was with their friend who they haven't seen in a really long time.
"It's my turn to go to the bathroom now," he got up and left the table.
"So, I'm curious…" she started and their friend looked up at her, "What kind of guy do you think I want?"
"One who leaves you alone because you're independent and one who's able to show that he cares, even though on the outside he may not look it. One who knows how to have fun and knows what you like, but is willing to try new things. One who will let be depressed."
Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Hm…nope. Last one was off, but her interested look didn't betray her. She had to play her cards right. This theory their friend had was interesting. It kind of sucked though that the two of them were in his "database" now and that everything was going to get a lot harder. It was….it was simply just annoying. She immediately rejected the thought as soon as it tried to crawl back.
"You're partly wrong," she said simply just when he came back from the bathroom.
"About?"
"This is interesting. Figure it out," she challenged and smirked. She was pretty sure that it didn't occur to him that all she wanted was right there, but it was too late. She already knew that he was picky and she already knew that she didn't fit the criteria. In the end, she just wasn't what he was looking for. She had far too long of a time to wait. She spent the rest of the night that day laughing and listening to theories. Lots and lots of theories. Interesting ones. Ones she understood. Ones she challenged. All of them, in the end accepted, completely.
"Why so serious? That's my favorite line, and it's true. Life is just a game…." Their friend kept going, but by the time she got home she wouldn't be able to recall the words quite so accurately, but the message had come across just fine, nice and loud and perfectly cookie-cutter simple.
A game. She had heard the saying before many a time, but the way their friend had explained it, made perfect sense. Fully aware that she was a sore loser, she smirked. She loved a challenge. (The backward countdown she had with her reflection in the bathroom was long forgotten.) If life was a game, then she was going to comply and play. Let this fantastic learning experience start. Let this wonderfully simple game begin.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Me = Self-Proclaimed-Population-Agreed Klutz
So....today was the day that I returned to play basketball on Work out Tuesdays. (Also known as Vegan Tuesdays, which is successful still so far.) Yeah....I don't crash into someone really is the problem. I don't trip over someone's foot. I trip on myself and go tumbling onto the blacktop. Sometimes I just want to smash myself in the face until I have a Voldemort nose. (Did you get it?)
Anyways, knee is scrapped, but no stranger to the right knee having a scar..so that's nothing to really rant about. Right elbow is a little scratched, but it's already scabbing, so no blood. What is injured is also the fact that the ball seemed to bounce off the top of my head and smartly onto the spot where I just so happened to crash into the bathtub a couple days ago with the defense major moment number infinity. Anyways...I don't know if it's swollen or bruised...and neither am I curious enough to paw my head to really find out.
MORE IMPORTANTLY. I really want to do something major for the victims in Japan. I don't care if there are racial or religious videos going around mentioning the disaster. I just hope that those people learn to open their hearts and help. I'm not scared of them, but rather I'm scared for them. They're going to get a lot of crap for thinking like that, even if this country promises freedom of speech. There is a lot of stuff that society can just beat your butt cheeks and leave you out in the cold for. I just really want to help. Set up something major...Please. I'm not really a person of praying, but my thoughts really go out to these people. Sigh.
Anyways, knee is scrapped, but no stranger to the right knee having a scar..so that's nothing to really rant about. Right elbow is a little scratched, but it's already scabbing, so no blood. What is injured is also the fact that the ball seemed to bounce off the top of my head and smartly onto the spot where I just so happened to crash into the bathtub a couple days ago with the defense major moment number infinity. Anyways...I don't know if it's swollen or bruised...and neither am I curious enough to paw my head to really find out.
MORE IMPORTANTLY. I really want to do something major for the victims in Japan. I don't care if there are racial or religious videos going around mentioning the disaster. I just hope that those people learn to open their hearts and help. I'm not scared of them, but rather I'm scared for them. They're going to get a lot of crap for thinking like that, even if this country promises freedom of speech. There is a lot of stuff that society can just beat your butt cheeks and leave you out in the cold for. I just really want to help. Set up something major...Please. I'm not really a person of praying, but my thoughts really go out to these people. Sigh.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Me = First Expo and First Macaroon
So today was the day that I experienced another first. I went to an expo and this one was the Natural Products West Expo over at the Anaheim Convention Center. Pretty interesting. Vegan recipes, vegetarian selections and all natural food. I ate so many sweet things that I'm...just good for awhile, but it wasn't that it was bad. I wouldn't mind eating them again..it was just that the sugar intake was just all condensed within the time span of about 4 hours that my taste buds would be hissing if they had the capability of morphing into the appearance of a cat.
I tried my first macaroon today as well and it was coffee flavored, so I was a bit hyper for awhile, but I toned it down a lot..so quite proud of that. ^^'' ANYWAYS...gelato is apparently pretty good, but then again I think...I've had it before, I'm not quite sure. Vegan whole turkey was pretty darn good, as well as the vegan chicken alfredo. So at these expos, you get freebies. I got lip balm some chip bags, water in the outer appearance of a caprisun pack, a green sticker from the Yumnuts booth that says "nuts about green," and a pin that says "give peas a chance." My other friends who went with me got some kitchen supplies, water, this rather strange tasting pomegranate dragonfruit drink that I'm not quite fond of, but still grateful for them thinking about me, canola oil, guacamole starter, enzyme kitchen spray cleaner, which apparently is biodegradable, which I find pretty interesting. There were also displays of organic diapers (which were heck-darn expensive), this vegan pizza with substitute cheese made from tapioca that tasted EXACTLY like cheese (sidenote: thank goodness, there's hope after all to become a vegan..), this interesting honey covered candy at a chocolate booth, grilled cheese at the Rodi's booth, very cute natural bars of soap, and this mysterious booth that sold brightly colored squid hats that I grew rather fond of every time I saw a passing person wearing one.
So I took enough pictures to make two camera batteries hate me and I'm uploading them online. Free things...uhhh yeah. I'm definitely going next year. Instead of one day, three days thank you very much.
Some of the booths there had absolutely incredible designs. Hanging globes covered in flowers. A tree house that seemed to have the color scheme inspired from the house in the movie Up. A charming little tropical stand. Towering vivid flowers about as tall as a doorway. Another little booth seemingly inspired by the traditional Apple white interior and smooth, but simple design. There was one booth that I really liked where the brand was just called Kind. (http://www.kindsnacks.com/) Their business cards were very sleekly glossed with the header: You have been KINDED. Pass it on. I found it again rather(seemingly repeating word today) charming.
Anyways..I'm home now, trapped within the same perimeter as my slowly becoming more tolerable bit by bit father and his friend who are drinking, which makes me crinkle my nose because they're just......jerks when they do that.
I tried my first macaroon today as well and it was coffee flavored, so I was a bit hyper for awhile, but I toned it down a lot..so quite proud of that. ^^'' ANYWAYS...gelato is apparently pretty good, but then again I think...I've had it before, I'm not quite sure. Vegan whole turkey was pretty darn good, as well as the vegan chicken alfredo. So at these expos, you get freebies. I got lip balm some chip bags, water in the outer appearance of a caprisun pack, a green sticker from the Yumnuts booth that says "nuts about green," and a pin that says "give peas a chance." My other friends who went with me got some kitchen supplies, water, this rather strange tasting pomegranate dragonfruit drink that I'm not quite fond of, but still grateful for them thinking about me, canola oil, guacamole starter, enzyme kitchen spray cleaner, which apparently is biodegradable, which I find pretty interesting. There were also displays of organic diapers (which were heck-darn expensive), this vegan pizza with substitute cheese made from tapioca that tasted EXACTLY like cheese (sidenote: thank goodness, there's hope after all to become a vegan..), this interesting honey covered candy at a chocolate booth, grilled cheese at the Rodi's booth, very cute natural bars of soap, and this mysterious booth that sold brightly colored squid hats that I grew rather fond of every time I saw a passing person wearing one.
So I took enough pictures to make two camera batteries hate me and I'm uploading them online. Free things...uhhh yeah. I'm definitely going next year. Instead of one day, three days thank you very much.
Some of the booths there had absolutely incredible designs. Hanging globes covered in flowers. A tree house that seemed to have the color scheme inspired from the house in the movie Up. A charming little tropical stand. Towering vivid flowers about as tall as a doorway. Another little booth seemingly inspired by the traditional Apple white interior and smooth, but simple design. There was one booth that I really liked where the brand was just called Kind. (http://www.kindsnacks.com/) Their business cards were very sleekly glossed with the header: You have been KINDED. Pass it on. I found it again rather(seemingly repeating word today) charming.
Anyways..I'm home now, trapped within the same perimeter as my slowly becoming more tolerable bit by bit father and his friend who are drinking, which makes me crinkle my nose because they're just......jerks when they do that.
Me = Planning 2011 Summer
It has come to my attention that I must travel and enjoy many places this upcoming summer and I have decided to make a list of said fantastical many places.
Disneyland
Downtown Disney
California Adventures
Descanso Gardens
Sakura Ichi
Los Angeles County Museum of Art
Cerritos Library
Huntington Beach (or just any...beach...)
Irvine Spectrum
Santa Monica Pier
Raging Waters
Disney Expo (end of August)
Taiwan
Papyrus
South Coast Plaza
Ontario Mills (kind of want to go to Rainforest Cafe again for their roast beef.....drool-worthy..)
Updated (2011.03.14)
The Grove
Korean Town
Anime Expo (beginning of July)
E3 Expo (weekend right after anime expo) - heard of it and it seems interesting..hm.
Reminder to self:
https://register.rcsreg.com/r2/anime2011/ga/top.html (anime expo)
http://disneyland.disney.go.com/tickets/ (disneyland)
http://www.e3expo.com/ (E3 expo)
Disneyland
Downtown Disney
California Adventures
Descanso Gardens
Sakura Ichi
Los Angeles County Museum of Art
Cerritos Library
Huntington Beach (or just any...beach...)
Irvine Spectrum
Santa Monica Pier
Raging Waters
Disney Expo (end of August)
Taiwan
Papyrus
South Coast Plaza
Ontario Mills (kind of want to go to Rainforest Cafe again for their roast beef.....drool-worthy..)
Updated (2011.03.14)
The Grove
Korean Town
Anime Expo (beginning of July)
E3 Expo (weekend right after anime expo) - heard of it and it seems interesting..hm.
Reminder to self:
https://register.rcsreg.com/r2/anime2011/ga/top.html (anime expo)
http://disneyland.disney.go.com/tickets/ (disneyland)
http://www.e3expo.com/ (E3 expo)
Friday, March 11, 2011
Me = Embracing the Title
Gluttony. Empress Fatty. Empress Fatass. Fatty Mentality. Pretty much to sum up 94 pounds of skin and bones. Yep...and today I embraced these....titles.
So for dinner I had:
- Chipotle bowl with extra cheese
- a vat of homemade ramen
- a few Thin Mints
- some curry on top of rice
- hummus and whole wheat pita bread
- an organic apple
- 2 mini bagels with cream cheese
AND not full..........
I need to rethink this...erm...weight...gaining thing. >____________________________>
So for dinner I had:
- Chipotle bowl with extra cheese
- a vat of homemade ramen
- a few Thin Mints
- some curry on top of rice
- hummus and whole wheat pita bread
- an organic apple
- 2 mini bagels with cream cheese
AND not full..........
I need to rethink this...erm...weight...gaining thing. >____________________________>
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Me = Busting Mah Butt Cheeks
School school! Technically, I have 7 classes now. Okay......time to do this! and 3 whole school years stuffed into 2 months. Holy crap..let's do this! x.x
So I've snuck home my packet of assignments and I shall be buddies with le copier machine. :) Hehe...french makes a lot of things sound more wannabe sophisticated. :3.....Kinda..x3
Okay...going back to work now. :)
So I've snuck home my packet of assignments and I shall be buddies with le copier machine. :) Hehe...french makes a lot of things sound more wannabe sophisticated. :3.....Kinda..x3
Okay...going back to work now. :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Chickenscratch #11
What I think went down.....anyways...it's corny...but...whatever...I'm not really in the mood to really be creative or care all that much to be quite honest.
---------------------
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
“I’m looken fer Vanny~”
“What the hell…ARE YOU DRUNK?!”
“Shhhhh, don’t tell Vanny.”
“You dummy face. Get up,” she said as she tried to get him on his feet. Problem with being 50 lbs lighter than him wasn’t really helping. Thank god the building had a
working elevator.
“Doyah know if Vanny’s home?”
“I’m not speaking to you,” she snapped.
“Wowzers, what er angry, pretty girly.”
“Flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere, dummy.”
“Whu?”
“Oh dear god…how drunk are you? Where did you go?”
“I wen daaaancen. Vanny wasn’t there tho.”
“You don’t dance. What does that matter? Weren’t you with your friends?”
“Howdya know? Yer muz beh psychic or sumtin…”
“Yeah yeah.”
“Where we goin? Are you taken meh to Vanny?”
“Yeah sure.”
“Oh! Yay! Thanks! I needer tell her sumtin.”
“Tell her what? That you’re drank yourself stupid?”
“Hahaha, pretty girly is funny.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever.”
“Wanna kner a seeeeeecret?”
“That you’re secretly a high school girl at heart? Because you talk like one.”
“So angry….haha, but nooooooo, I needer tell Vanny that I love her.”
“You were going to tell her at 3 in the morning that you love her?”
“It’s not brother looove. She doesn’t kner. I looooooove her.”
This whole time…she was helping him in the elevator and dragging her to her apartment, but after that she stopped and stared at him. ……what?
---------------------
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
“I’m looken fer Vanny~”
“What the hell…ARE YOU DRUNK?!”
“Shhhhh, don’t tell Vanny.”
“You dummy face. Get up,” she said as she tried to get him on his feet. Problem with being 50 lbs lighter than him wasn’t really helping. Thank god the building had a
working elevator.
“Doyah know if Vanny’s home?”
“I’m not speaking to you,” she snapped.
“Wowzers, what er angry, pretty girly.”
“Flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere, dummy.”
“Whu?”
“Oh dear god…how drunk are you? Where did you go?”
“I wen daaaancen. Vanny wasn’t there tho.”
“You don’t dance. What does that matter? Weren’t you with your friends?”
“Howdya know? Yer muz beh psychic or sumtin…”
“Yeah yeah.”
“Where we goin? Are you taken meh to Vanny?”
“Yeah sure.”
“Oh! Yay! Thanks! I needer tell her sumtin.”
“Tell her what? That you’re drank yourself stupid?”
“Hahaha, pretty girly is funny.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever.”
“Wanna kner a seeeeeecret?”
“That you’re secretly a high school girl at heart? Because you talk like one.”
“So angry….haha, but nooooooo, I needer tell Vanny that I love her.”
“You were going to tell her at 3 in the morning that you love her?”
“It’s not brother looove. She doesn’t kner. I looooooove her.”
This whole time…she was helping him in the elevator and dragging her to her apartment, but after that she stopped and stared at him. ……what?
Chickenscratch #10
So.....darn...corny. Ew.....what a dumb dream.
---------
He woke up groggy and with a horrible headache. Groaning with muffled strings of incomprehensible profanity, he rolled over onto a rather large lump that gave off a surprised squeal. He quickly retreated by jolting up to a sitting position and instantly regretted it. What a bitch of a headache. But besides that…
“What..time is it..” an equally groggy voice asked innocently. He froze recognizing the voice. No.
“Vanessa?”
“Ugh….Steven, you jerk…it’s 8 in the morning on a Sunday,” she spun around annoyed and her long hair twirled around her face and covered one of her accusing eyes. His heart stopped. Did they? Her hard glare immediately disappeared when she saw that the look that he gave her was one of incredible panic and distraught. “Hey, hey, I was joking,” she recovered quickly, “You okay?” When he was just speechless, she gently patted his messy chestnut hair. “I’ll be right back with water and eggs. Jesus Christ, you look like hell.” She disappeared and he noted that she was wearing her old high school shorts and a light blue tank. So…maybe they didn’t.
What happened anyway…..he tried to think back, but all he could think of was going to a club..and getting ridiculously drunk with his pals and then leaving totally wasted headed straight for Vanessa’s apartment. Did he even make it? Wait….he remembered muttering something and she had to throw him off of her, which wasn’t a problem. Her figure may have been what many of their friends said was just a stick, but she definitely wasn’t weak. Muttering….muttering what? What did he say? Steven tried to head to the bathroom, but ended up tripping over something and slamming head first into the door. There were hurried footsteps heard as he rubbing his head.
“Jesus!” he heard Vanessa cry out and came to help him get up and help him to the toilet. She politely sat him down upon the seat and left, waiting outside. When she heard the flushing sound and the sink go on and off, she opened the door again and was about to help him to the bed, but he smacked her hand away.
“I can do it,” he snapped.
“Suck it up, Mr. Faceplant,” she demanded and he didn’t argue anymore. After she got him back to the bed, she ran back to the kitchen and returned about five minutes later. The eggs were slightly burnt. After eating his makeshift breakfast, she diligently took the tray and started to head back out.
“Hey,” she turned to him, “What happened yesterday?” She frowned slightly.
“You came here and apparently someone reported you to the building manager that some dumbass was passed out in front of the building and I got curious so I looked outside and saw that it was you, so I dragged you in. It was 3 in the goddamn morning, so I had to strip you down to your boxers and go put the rest of your stupid clothes in the dryer. Fucking idiot…why were you sprawled across the damn sidewalk in 30 degree weather? Anyway, you just slept.”
“Did I say anything?”
“No, why?”
“I was wondering if I said anything stupid.”
“No, but you looked pretty damn stupid.” He cringed and her look softened, “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you up later.” He shrugged as she left the room. He didn’t notice that she had held the tray a little tighter when he had asked if he had say anything. When she was washing the plate and cup, the frown crawled back onto her face as she remembered very clearly that he had told her that he loved her.
---------
He woke up groggy and with a horrible headache. Groaning with muffled strings of incomprehensible profanity, he rolled over onto a rather large lump that gave off a surprised squeal. He quickly retreated by jolting up to a sitting position and instantly regretted it. What a bitch of a headache. But besides that…
“What..time is it..” an equally groggy voice asked innocently. He froze recognizing the voice. No.
“Vanessa?”
“Ugh….Steven, you jerk…it’s 8 in the morning on a Sunday,” she spun around annoyed and her long hair twirled around her face and covered one of her accusing eyes. His heart stopped. Did they? Her hard glare immediately disappeared when she saw that the look that he gave her was one of incredible panic and distraught. “Hey, hey, I was joking,” she recovered quickly, “You okay?” When he was just speechless, she gently patted his messy chestnut hair. “I’ll be right back with water and eggs. Jesus Christ, you look like hell.” She disappeared and he noted that she was wearing her old high school shorts and a light blue tank. So…maybe they didn’t.
What happened anyway…..he tried to think back, but all he could think of was going to a club..and getting ridiculously drunk with his pals and then leaving totally wasted headed straight for Vanessa’s apartment. Did he even make it? Wait….he remembered muttering something and she had to throw him off of her, which wasn’t a problem. Her figure may have been what many of their friends said was just a stick, but she definitely wasn’t weak. Muttering….muttering what? What did he say? Steven tried to head to the bathroom, but ended up tripping over something and slamming head first into the door. There were hurried footsteps heard as he rubbing his head.
“Jesus!” he heard Vanessa cry out and came to help him get up and help him to the toilet. She politely sat him down upon the seat and left, waiting outside. When she heard the flushing sound and the sink go on and off, she opened the door again and was about to help him to the bed, but he smacked her hand away.
“I can do it,” he snapped.
“Suck it up, Mr. Faceplant,” she demanded and he didn’t argue anymore. After she got him back to the bed, she ran back to the kitchen and returned about five minutes later. The eggs were slightly burnt. After eating his makeshift breakfast, she diligently took the tray and started to head back out.
“Hey,” she turned to him, “What happened yesterday?” She frowned slightly.
“You came here and apparently someone reported you to the building manager that some dumbass was passed out in front of the building and I got curious so I looked outside and saw that it was you, so I dragged you in. It was 3 in the goddamn morning, so I had to strip you down to your boxers and go put the rest of your stupid clothes in the dryer. Fucking idiot…why were you sprawled across the damn sidewalk in 30 degree weather? Anyway, you just slept.”
“Did I say anything?”
“No, why?”
“I was wondering if I said anything stupid.”
“No, but you looked pretty damn stupid.” He cringed and her look softened, “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you up later.” He shrugged as she left the room. He didn’t notice that she had held the tray a little tighter when he had asked if he had say anything. When she was washing the plate and cup, the frown crawled back onto her face as she remembered very clearly that he had told her that he loved her.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Chickenscratch #9
He was going to have to suck it up and figure out how to apologize to her. It wasn’t that she was such an unforgiving person. It was just that he knew she was one of those “optional” friends. She could live without him quite easily and he knew it. Maybe she’d think about him from time to time if something reminded her of him, but besides that, she rarely did anything about it besides the little messages wishing him a good day in the morning from time to time.
Sighing deeply in defeat, he played the staring game with his cell phone that was lying mockingly upon the coffee table. Sighing again, he snatched the phone off the table and dialed. There wasn’t really a need to look it up in his contacts because they had so frequently called each other to hang out. Neither was it really a need to make her his speed dial because that would’ve made her seem way too important. At least….it would seem like that.
“Hey!"
“Hey, it’s m-”
“I’m not here right now. Leave a message after the beepity!”
Beepity?.....Really? It was just like her…but…really?
“Hey it’s me! Just wondering if you’re free on Wednesday. Call me back,” satisfied, he turned on ESPN to watch the remainder of the Laker game.
Ding dong!
What..the.. did she get the message and rush over? Heh, maybe be wasn’t so optional after all. Smirking, he strode over to the door and someone barreled into him.
“Oof! What the f-”
“Thiss..is torolly all your faull you asshole.”
“What..the..fuck, Stephanie?”
Stephanie was the ex-girlfriend. The needy one, adding on top of that was a very curved body with C sized breasts, so obviously any guy who was straight would consider it and attempt to zone out her chatty personality.
“Iz yore faull that I’m like diss.”
“Go home, Stephanie. Get off.”
“You mezzed me up.”
“Stephanie, GO HOME!” He was trying to pry her off of him, but she was latched on so tightly to his waist that they fell over.
“I like it like diss,” she slurred and gave him a half-lidded smile. He crinkled his nose in disgust.
“WHAT THE HELL!” They both turned. The door was still gapingly open and so was the mouth of Vanessa as she stood there. Her bag slung over her shoulder and a box of Thin Mints sticking out of her bag, his favorite. Her lips then formed a thin angry line as his eyes widened in surprise.
“Wha are you doing here?” Stephanie angrily slurred. He took advantage of her distraction and successfully shoved her off. Vanessa tossed her bag to the side and he watched as the box fell out as she strode over to grab the drunk girl by the hair to drag her face to level with hers.
“If you ever come near him again, I will kill you,” she angrily sneered. Her trapped victim, withered and squirmed as she gave out a stream of pained yelps. Promptly, Vanessa threw her out of the apartment, head first into the hallway, not really caring how she would land. She slammed the door as Stephanie collapsed onto the carpeted ground, and then stalked over to her flabbergasted audience’s phone. Quickly, she dialed and he listened as she coldly spoke to the building manager, reporting a drunk nuisance on the 7th floor.
Afterwards, she turned up the TV and swiftly sat down upon the white leather couch. Confused, Vanessa looked over to Steven who was still on the floor. “Aren’t you going to watch the game?”
“Why…why are you here?”
“It’s Tuesday. You asked me if I wanted to watch the Laker game with you, since my TV broke. I brought over Thin Mints. You can have it. My coworker gave some boxes to me.” He didn’t really hear anything after “you asked me…” but it didn’t really matter anyway. He smiled and grabbed the box of cookies along with her bag to the couch. Affectionately, he pecked her forehead and ruffled her hair. She whined playfully before smacking a pillow across his stomach.
Yep, some things never changed. He could never think that enough.
Sighing deeply in defeat, he played the staring game with his cell phone that was lying mockingly upon the coffee table. Sighing again, he snatched the phone off the table and dialed. There wasn’t really a need to look it up in his contacts because they had so frequently called each other to hang out. Neither was it really a need to make her his speed dial because that would’ve made her seem way too important. At least….it would seem like that.
“Hey!"
“Hey, it’s m-”
“I’m not here right now. Leave a message after the beepity!”
Beepity?.....Really? It was just like her…but…really?
“Hey it’s me! Just wondering if you’re free on Wednesday. Call me back,” satisfied, he turned on ESPN to watch the remainder of the Laker game.
Ding dong!
What..the.. did she get the message and rush over? Heh, maybe be wasn’t so optional after all. Smirking, he strode over to the door and someone barreled into him.
“Oof! What the f-”
“Thiss..is torolly all your faull you asshole.”
“What..the..fuck, Stephanie?”
Stephanie was the ex-girlfriend. The needy one, adding on top of that was a very curved body with C sized breasts, so obviously any guy who was straight would consider it and attempt to zone out her chatty personality.
“Iz yore faull that I’m like diss.”
“Go home, Stephanie. Get off.”
“You mezzed me up.”
“Stephanie, GO HOME!” He was trying to pry her off of him, but she was latched on so tightly to his waist that they fell over.
“I like it like diss,” she slurred and gave him a half-lidded smile. He crinkled his nose in disgust.
“WHAT THE HELL!” They both turned. The door was still gapingly open and so was the mouth of Vanessa as she stood there. Her bag slung over her shoulder and a box of Thin Mints sticking out of her bag, his favorite. Her lips then formed a thin angry line as his eyes widened in surprise.
“Wha are you doing here?” Stephanie angrily slurred. He took advantage of her distraction and successfully shoved her off. Vanessa tossed her bag to the side and he watched as the box fell out as she strode over to grab the drunk girl by the hair to drag her face to level with hers.
“If you ever come near him again, I will kill you,” she angrily sneered. Her trapped victim, withered and squirmed as she gave out a stream of pained yelps. Promptly, Vanessa threw her out of the apartment, head first into the hallway, not really caring how she would land. She slammed the door as Stephanie collapsed onto the carpeted ground, and then stalked over to her flabbergasted audience’s phone. Quickly, she dialed and he listened as she coldly spoke to the building manager, reporting a drunk nuisance on the 7th floor.
Afterwards, she turned up the TV and swiftly sat down upon the white leather couch. Confused, Vanessa looked over to Steven who was still on the floor. “Aren’t you going to watch the game?”
“Why…why are you here?”
“It’s Tuesday. You asked me if I wanted to watch the Laker game with you, since my TV broke. I brought over Thin Mints. You can have it. My coworker gave some boxes to me.” He didn’t really hear anything after “you asked me…” but it didn’t really matter anyway. He smiled and grabbed the box of cookies along with her bag to the couch. Affectionately, he pecked her forehead and ruffled her hair. She whined playfully before smacking a pillow across his stomach.
Yep, some things never changed. He could never think that enough.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Picture Diary #326
Ohmegoshums. This + Bubble Bath + Music = Ultimate Relaxation and Bubble Popping Time! :)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Chickenscratch #8
“It doesn’t really matter how old they are..why are you so stubborn about this?”
“Because it’s just wrong! You don’t get it do you? I would be concerned if my daughter fell in love with someone that was my age!”
“Goodness! Unless you got a girl pregnant while she was in high school, it’s not the same age. Even if it was, isn’t it like that character in Friends? Monica? She loved that doctor who was friends with her Dad. Why didn’t you say anything then when we were watching it?”
“Friends is a TV show..please. Be realistic.”
“You criticize The Kardashians, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, and even Bleach…..and you don’t criticize Friends?”
“Okay..not the point. It’s just wrong that Jay Chou has a 17 year old girlfriend. That is all. If I were their friends or relative, I’d say something.”
“…Like what? Your happiness worries me. I don’t think it’s right,” she was at the end of her rope…she swore to God that this boy was being stupid, friend or not.
“I’d express concern. Obviously, not like that.”
“Sugarcoating something..doesn’t make it any better. You should know better than that Steven.”
“It’s not sugarcoating. It’s an awkward subject. How would you expect me to react?”
“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THEM IS MY POINT! WHO CARES IF THEY’RE TOGETHER? WHO CARES IF THEY’RE 15 YEARS APART? IF YOU THINK 3 YEARS IS MAX WHY DO YOU IDOLIZE YOUR PRECIOUS LAKERS COACH SO MUCH?! LOOK IT UP! NOW HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND WHO IS A LOT YOUNGER THAN HIM!”
“…Phil Jackson is 60 for Christ’s sake.”
“So when it happens to an old fart, it doesn’t matter.”
“Vanessa…watch it,” Patience had a limit.
“Watch this then! I feel no need sitting with someone who is so closed minded. What is with you lately?” she growled, slapped down a twenty on the table, and walked off with her Yogurt Green Tea, the drink that he introduced her to and she had come to love so much.
He wanted so much to run out after her, but pride had him glued to the seat brooding over his Peach Green Tea, the drink that she introduced to him and he had come to love so much. She was just being naïve and overly immature, getting worked up over something like this. Her innocence and the inappropriate circumstances really irritated him too, forming an expression that made their server glance over only to decide to pick up the money left on the table later.
Some things really never changed. She was just so narrow-minded as well, never taking into account…that maybe…just maybe he was a hypocrite.
He at first glared accusingly at the twenty, but then gave in with a deep sigh. She just never changed.
“Because it’s just wrong! You don’t get it do you? I would be concerned if my daughter fell in love with someone that was my age!”
“Goodness! Unless you got a girl pregnant while she was in high school, it’s not the same age. Even if it was, isn’t it like that character in Friends? Monica? She loved that doctor who was friends with her Dad. Why didn’t you say anything then when we were watching it?”
“Friends is a TV show..please. Be realistic.”
“You criticize The Kardashians, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, and even Bleach…..and you don’t criticize Friends?”
“Okay..not the point. It’s just wrong that Jay Chou has a 17 year old girlfriend. That is all. If I were their friends or relative, I’d say something.”
“…Like what? Your happiness worries me. I don’t think it’s right,” she was at the end of her rope…she swore to God that this boy was being stupid, friend or not.
“I’d express concern. Obviously, not like that.”
“Sugarcoating something..doesn’t make it any better. You should know better than that Steven.”
“It’s not sugarcoating. It’s an awkward subject. How would you expect me to react?”
“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THEM IS MY POINT! WHO CARES IF THEY’RE TOGETHER? WHO CARES IF THEY’RE 15 YEARS APART? IF YOU THINK 3 YEARS IS MAX WHY DO YOU IDOLIZE YOUR PRECIOUS LAKERS COACH SO MUCH?! LOOK IT UP! NOW HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND WHO IS A LOT YOUNGER THAN HIM!”
“…Phil Jackson is 60 for Christ’s sake.”
“So when it happens to an old fart, it doesn’t matter.”
“Vanessa…watch it,” Patience had a limit.
“Watch this then! I feel no need sitting with someone who is so closed minded. What is with you lately?” she growled, slapped down a twenty on the table, and walked off with her Yogurt Green Tea, the drink that he introduced her to and she had come to love so much.
He wanted so much to run out after her, but pride had him glued to the seat brooding over his Peach Green Tea, the drink that she introduced to him and he had come to love so much. She was just being naïve and overly immature, getting worked up over something like this. Her innocence and the inappropriate circumstances really irritated him too, forming an expression that made their server glance over only to decide to pick up the money left on the table later.
Some things really never changed. She was just so narrow-minded as well, never taking into account…that maybe…just maybe he was a hypocrite.
He at first glared accusingly at the twenty, but then gave in with a deep sigh. She just never changed.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Chickenscratch #7
“It’s all right. You’ll be okay,” she smiled and reached up to fix his hair comfortingly. When he froze, she alarmingly froze as well. “Did I say something wrong?”
“You shouldn’t do that,” he said flatly as he took her hand away from his head.
“Do….what?” she asked innocently. He struggled internally. How was he going to explain to her? The look on his face threw her to a panic. Was it something she said? Did she do something wrong? When he didn’t say anything, she bit her lower lip. “I’m sorry….I’m not really sure what I did, but I’m sorry. I’ll leave if I’m not helping.”
“No, it’s not you,” he quickly said and grabbed her arm. She turned her head back at him confused. He sighed and looked off to the side. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You didn’t do anything. I just don’t think that this is appropriate.”
“Um……what?”
Dumbass. What was he saying? He frowned slightly, but then looked at her square in the eye. No…it wasn’t right. She was only trying to comfort him and be there the way she always wanted to every time she called him back in high school when she was lonely or crying because of her parents. Slowly, he smiled at her sincerely and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“Nevermind, I’m sorry. I can’t really think straight right now.” Her expression relaxed and she gave him a forgiving smile.
“Oh…well it’s okay!” she optimistically hooked his arm with hers and dragged him to the living room, “Let’s watch Godfather then! It’ll cheer you up! I can’t believe you’ve never watched it!”
He laughed. She was so weirdly amusing. It was definitely inappropriate. She used to see him as an older brother for Christ’s sake.
“Hey….are you okay?” He turned and saw her sitting next to him already on the couch with the Main Menu screen already on the television. “Well….we don’t have to watch Godfather. We can watch whatever you want,” she quickly said. It was so like her to think that…..
“No, I’m fine. Let’s watch.”
---------------
So weird....based on my dreams. Apparently, I'm watching a TV show and the characters kind of are based on these events.
“You shouldn’t do that,” he said flatly as he took her hand away from his head.
“Do….what?” she asked innocently. He struggled internally. How was he going to explain to her? The look on his face threw her to a panic. Was it something she said? Did she do something wrong? When he didn’t say anything, she bit her lower lip. “I’m sorry….I’m not really sure what I did, but I’m sorry. I’ll leave if I’m not helping.”
“No, it’s not you,” he quickly said and grabbed her arm. She turned her head back at him confused. He sighed and looked off to the side. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You didn’t do anything. I just don’t think that this is appropriate.”
“Um……what?”
Dumbass. What was he saying? He frowned slightly, but then looked at her square in the eye. No…it wasn’t right. She was only trying to comfort him and be there the way she always wanted to every time she called him back in high school when she was lonely or crying because of her parents. Slowly, he smiled at her sincerely and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“Nevermind, I’m sorry. I can’t really think straight right now.” Her expression relaxed and she gave him a forgiving smile.
“Oh…well it’s okay!” she optimistically hooked his arm with hers and dragged him to the living room, “Let’s watch Godfather then! It’ll cheer you up! I can’t believe you’ve never watched it!”
He laughed. She was so weirdly amusing. It was definitely inappropriate. She used to see him as an older brother for Christ’s sake.
“Hey….are you okay?” He turned and saw her sitting next to him already on the couch with the Main Menu screen already on the television. “Well….we don’t have to watch Godfather. We can watch whatever you want,” she quickly said. It was so like her to think that…..
“No, I’m fine. Let’s watch.”
---------------
So weird....based on my dreams. Apparently, I'm watching a TV show and the characters kind of are based on these events.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Chickenscratch #6
Time certainly flew by. It had been 3 years since he had seen her. He remembered fondly of when she had graduated from high school, so naïve, wonderfully strange and innocent. She had left a message on his Facebook wall wishing him a happy holidays when it ended up them arranging a time to meet up and catch up. She had called him older brother back then and it was still true when she had left the message.
He waited at the Starbucks and breathed out. It was raining and he could see his breath escape his lips in a warm mini fog. His cell phone emitted a little jingle and he quickly looked at it. Apparently, she was stuck in traffic. Yep..time to head on inside. He was freezing his ass off.
He remembered that she used to order a trenta iced black tea no matter what weather, but obviously the idea that she would still have that habit was a little doubtful.
“Hi! May I help you?” the girl at the counter cheerfully said. Hm. Apparently, they were recruiting high schoolers for employees.
“One tall hot black tea, sweetened.” Someone came in and waited behind him in line.
“All right and what’s your name?”
“Steven.”
He paid and was given his change and went off to the side to wait. He looked outside and wondered if she still used that clear umbrella that she was given when she was graduating. Probably…she wasn’t the type to throw necessities away unless they were broken beyond repair.
“One trenta iced black tea please.”
“Would you like that sweetened?”
“No thanks.” He quickly turned. Well….how about it. Guessed the idea wasn’t so doubtful after all. She was still slender, and open to the idea of wearing boots because she was always unhappy with her height. Maybe another inch or two for the height. He watched her pay from money in a black leather wallet that was attached to a Tigger lanyard with her car keys. Definitely, still the same. She tucked the wallet-lanyard-car keys mess into her bag and when she looked up she met eyes with his. I’m sorry…had he actually thought still the same? The skinny, awkward little girl had become an attractive piece of eye candy. How typical of a man to think so. She had dyed her hair brown and curled it on the bottom. No more acne and her nails were French tipped.
“How are you?”
“I’m good, how’s college?”
“A lot better than high school,” she said politely. He smiled as he remembered her always saying how much she couldn’t wait turn 18 and go off to college.
“I knew that you’d like it.”
“So what’s new?” she inquired as they both got their drinks.
“Um…well I moved out and now I’m living with Michael.”
“Oh, that’s cool! Where?”
“Over at Bridgewood near downtown.”
“Hey, I have a friend that lives there. Maybe I’ll drop by sometime.”
“We could go to Little Tokyo and eat at that sushi place that you like.”
“Oh actually honey, I’m a vegetarian now.” That was completely surprising.
“Wait…what?”
“I know right. Vegetarian. Remember how I used to say how I wouldn’t ever be one because I love sushi too much. It was so hard at first. Wahh~” That…wasn’t what was surprising. He had always had faith that she could do it…it was something else, but he ignored it.
“That’s good though! Congratulations!” She smiled meekly.
“Did you ever get to be vegetarian?”
“Still trying,” he said vaguely embarrassed. She placed a comforting hand over his and smiled.
“Keep trying, you can do it.” He blinked and looked up at her. She still hadn’t changed, but after 3 years, it seemed like he had.
He waited at the Starbucks and breathed out. It was raining and he could see his breath escape his lips in a warm mini fog. His cell phone emitted a little jingle and he quickly looked at it. Apparently, she was stuck in traffic. Yep..time to head on inside. He was freezing his ass off.
He remembered that she used to order a trenta iced black tea no matter what weather, but obviously the idea that she would still have that habit was a little doubtful.
“Hi! May I help you?” the girl at the counter cheerfully said. Hm. Apparently, they were recruiting high schoolers for employees.
“One tall hot black tea, sweetened.” Someone came in and waited behind him in line.
“All right and what’s your name?”
“Steven.”
He paid and was given his change and went off to the side to wait. He looked outside and wondered if she still used that clear umbrella that she was given when she was graduating. Probably…she wasn’t the type to throw necessities away unless they were broken beyond repair.
“One trenta iced black tea please.”
“Would you like that sweetened?”
“No thanks.” He quickly turned. Well….how about it. Guessed the idea wasn’t so doubtful after all. She was still slender, and open to the idea of wearing boots because she was always unhappy with her height. Maybe another inch or two for the height. He watched her pay from money in a black leather wallet that was attached to a Tigger lanyard with her car keys. Definitely, still the same. She tucked the wallet-lanyard-car keys mess into her bag and when she looked up she met eyes with his. I’m sorry…had he actually thought still the same? The skinny, awkward little girl had become an attractive piece of eye candy. How typical of a man to think so. She had dyed her hair brown and curled it on the bottom. No more acne and her nails were French tipped.
“How are you?”
“I’m good, how’s college?”
“A lot better than high school,” she said politely. He smiled as he remembered her always saying how much she couldn’t wait turn 18 and go off to college.
“I knew that you’d like it.”
“So what’s new?” she inquired as they both got their drinks.
“Um…well I moved out and now I’m living with Michael.”
“Oh, that’s cool! Where?”
“Over at Bridgewood near downtown.”
“Hey, I have a friend that lives there. Maybe I’ll drop by sometime.”
“We could go to Little Tokyo and eat at that sushi place that you like.”
“Oh actually honey, I’m a vegetarian now.” That was completely surprising.
“Wait…what?”
“I know right. Vegetarian. Remember how I used to say how I wouldn’t ever be one because I love sushi too much. It was so hard at first. Wahh~” That…wasn’t what was surprising. He had always had faith that she could do it…it was something else, but he ignored it.
“That’s good though! Congratulations!” She smiled meekly.
“Did you ever get to be vegetarian?”
“Still trying,” he said vaguely embarrassed. She placed a comforting hand over his and smiled.
“Keep trying, you can do it.” He blinked and looked up at her. She still hadn’t changed, but after 3 years, it seemed like he had.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
20110220 Something Like That
There's something about being an individual that makes you want to make a mark on the rest of the world…well something besides your grave. Something remembered. Something kind and sweet.
Maybe you helped that one lady on the road change her tire.
Maybe you always wished that one person who meant so much to you for their happiness.
Maybe you hoped for the best and pray for the safety of the people you loved.
Maybe you helped that one grandpa pick up his wallet when it tumbled out.
Maybe you comforted that girl who was left crying in the bathroom during recess.
There's just something about being able to become a memory, something personal to someone.
It didn't really matter if you become a favorite moment. One of those moments where people replay over and over again because it made you smile. It would have just been nice to be in their memory piggy bank.
It's doesn't really have to do with pride, or money, or attention, or lust, or greed, or jealousy, or anything like that. It doesn't really have to do with crushes, or asking people out, or getting a pet, or driving a car for the first time, or really any of those experiences.
It was more just being recognized, being there at that instant, being able to be there when you can and being able to have the courage to care.
There's something about being a human being that makes you want to mean something. Maybe not just for yourself…but just mean something to someone.
Yeah, something like that.
Maybe you helped that one lady on the road change her tire.
Maybe you always wished that one person who meant so much to you for their happiness.
Maybe you hoped for the best and pray for the safety of the people you loved.
Maybe you helped that one grandpa pick up his wallet when it tumbled out.
Maybe you comforted that girl who was left crying in the bathroom during recess.
There's just something about being able to become a memory, something personal to someone.
It didn't really matter if you become a favorite moment. One of those moments where people replay over and over again because it made you smile. It would have just been nice to be in their memory piggy bank.
It's doesn't really have to do with pride, or money, or attention, or lust, or greed, or jealousy, or anything like that. It doesn't really have to do with crushes, or asking people out, or getting a pet, or driving a car for the first time, or really any of those experiences.
It was more just being recognized, being there at that instant, being able to be there when you can and being able to have the courage to care.
There's something about being a human being that makes you want to mean something. Maybe not just for yourself…but just mean something to someone.
Yeah, something like that.
Me = Yay! Good Start to 3-Day Weekend
So my Ge Ge introduced me to 蕭閎仁's music. Haha, yay! :) I love his 惦惦...好嗎? song and the MV that goes with it. ^^ Pretty dang awesome. Sometimes just want people to shush. Hmph. Apparently, there are times when a guy's in a relationship where he just wants peace and quiet..although I can see how they would be annoyed if their girlfriend is like the girlfriend in the MV. ._.''
Anyways....my day was wonderful yesterday and I really hope that it's a good one today. All Star game is today and I want to watch it....but unfortunately father is using the TV for something. Hm...oh well.
Hm. I'm hungry. Time for a mini bagel.
Anyways....my day was wonderful yesterday and I really hope that it's a good one today. All Star game is today and I want to watch it....but unfortunately father is using the TV for something. Hm...oh well.
Hm. I'm hungry. Time for a mini bagel.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Me = Aiyaaaaaaaa....
You know when you’re singing along with this song, and you know all the words cause you really love it. Then a train passes and a door closes, and you can’t hear the music anymore, but you keep singing anyway. Then, when you can hear it again, you’re still perfectly in time with it. Well, that’s what love is.
That's....certainly one way to put it....o-o'' as..cliche as it is..it's not bad.
----------------------------
I think that I'm attached to the concept of familiarity. I feel.....dirty when I'm alone. I'm not really sure why. Blah....it's like 2:39 in the morning...Good night world. =.=''
That's....certainly one way to put it....o-o'' as..cliche as it is..it's not bad.
----------------------------
I think that I'm attached to the concept of familiarity. I feel.....dirty when I'm alone. I'm not really sure why. Blah....it's like 2:39 in the morning...Good night world. =.=''
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Me = Project Inquiry
So I was quite unable to actually think about what to do for the project because we actually had to write an outline about public policy and public opinion about exit polls and whatnot. And for English we actually had to do research and flip through the Wuthering Heights book for quotes about these 8 topics that nobody reeeeally care about. Sorry Emily Bronte....but nobody really cares about Wuthering Heights, even if it is nicely written. =\
Anyways...I'm taking a break from the gym right now because I am..pretty tired. 20 minutes of actual running and I'm not really sure how long I was on the stairs machine. Hm....so actual projects.....
I could do a year of 12 different types of media, but one theme. (a media/month) And....I'd need to do three pieces each month.
I could try the vegetarian thing for a year. See how that goes, but I'd have to be really really committed.
Ooooor...I could write a letter to someone everyday. 356 different people. That would be interesting. Hm.
Hm...well break time's over. Back to hip hoppiting.
Anyways...I'm taking a break from the gym right now because I am..pretty tired. 20 minutes of actual running and I'm not really sure how long I was on the stairs machine. Hm....so actual projects.....
I could do a year of 12 different types of media, but one theme. (a media/month) And....I'd need to do three pieces each month.
I could try the vegetarian thing for a year. See how that goes, but I'd have to be really really committed.
Ooooor...I could write a letter to someone everyday. 356 different people. That would be interesting. Hm.
Hm...well break time's over. Back to hip hoppiting.
Picture Diary #319
The Pudu: World’s smallest deer.
They live in bamboo thickets to hide from predators, and can weigh up to 12 kilograms (26 pounds).
It's like a chibi Bambi. =D
Me = Inspired and Awed
You know, those kind of blogs where it seems like the blogger takes time out of their busy schedule to report something to their blog everyday like some sort of project for about a year or for whatever duration. (Although, it seems like whatever is less than a year is kind of weak....I wonder if thinking that makes me a bad person...) An example would be Julie Powell and her Julie and Julia project...which is entirely out of my budget...obviously, but I so wish I had the knack for making fattening, but drool manufacturing dishes. ;^;
Anyways...I kind of want to try this kind of project..it seems pretty interesting. :) I shall think upon what to do. Maybe I'll do that meatless thing....although that means no sushi for a year...which makes my tummy sneer angrily. I'm definitely not patient enough to go vegan for a year. The idea of depriving my tummy of more food (i.e. milk and eggs) now just makes my tummy throw a tantrum. Hm...although I kind of want to do it related to something about health. It seems more amusing that way.
After all, like Edwin Arlington Robinson says: "Life is the game that must be played." And I would preferably play a game that is interesting rather than rehearsed and playing it safe. If a metaphor helps..I'd rather like poker (a game with a potential intense risk) than something like charades (where there's not really anything on the line, unless there's a bet involved or pride I guess...if you're that kind of person-although, to be honest, there isn't much pride when you're standing there in front of a group of people trying to be a vulture flapping your arms while walking in a circle multiple times....shaddup >_>'').
[sidenote: Don't get me wrong.....charades is pretty fantastically (no sarcasm, I promise) fun. :) I played it all the time during the holiday season last year with my BW friends and it was definitely something that I wouldn't mind playing again. ^^]
Hm...proooject...proooject..I shall ponder upon this at school, which I am leaving for soon. ^^
Kaybye!
Anyways...I kind of want to try this kind of project..it seems pretty interesting. :) I shall think upon what to do. Maybe I'll do that meatless thing....although that means no sushi for a year...which makes my tummy sneer angrily. I'm definitely not patient enough to go vegan for a year. The idea of depriving my tummy of more food (i.e. milk and eggs) now just makes my tummy throw a tantrum. Hm...although I kind of want to do it related to something about health. It seems more amusing that way.
After all, like Edwin Arlington Robinson says: "Life is the game that must be played." And I would preferably play a game that is interesting rather than rehearsed and playing it safe. If a metaphor helps..I'd rather like poker (a game with a potential intense risk) than something like charades (where there's not really anything on the line, unless there's a bet involved or pride I guess...if you're that kind of person-although, to be honest, there isn't much pride when you're standing there in front of a group of people trying to be a vulture flapping your arms while walking in a circle multiple times....shaddup >_>'').
[sidenote: Don't get me wrong.....charades is pretty fantastically (no sarcasm, I promise) fun. :) I played it all the time during the holiday season last year with my BW friends and it was definitely something that I wouldn't mind playing again. ^^]
Hm...proooject...proooject..I shall ponder upon this at school, which I am leaving for soon. ^^
Kaybye!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Me = Amused with Vocabulary
Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of going to school (what is someone really had this? o.O)
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia- Fear of blood (does this qualify if its like blood puddles or blood on my hands?)
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words (this one always made me chuckle)
Sinophobia- Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture (is having the word sin in this word just coincidence or racist? haha. xD)
Tonitrophobia- Fear of thunder (not really...but I do tremble a little..bad habit)
Is there a fear of thinking too much? o.O'' Hmmmm.
Well finding out the different types of phobias always sparked my interest. Now..back to washing the dishes I go.
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia- Fear of blood (does this qualify if its like blood puddles or blood on my hands?)
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words (this one always made me chuckle)
Sinophobia- Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture (is having the word sin in this word just coincidence or racist? haha. xD)
Tonitrophobia- Fear of thunder (not really...but I do tremble a little..bad habit)
Is there a fear of thinking too much? o.O'' Hmmmm.
Well finding out the different types of phobias always sparked my interest. Now..back to washing the dishes I go.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Me = "Kindness is a precious gift."
As well as compassion. I think that having someone who you aren't afraid to have read you like an open book is something to really cherish. It's nice. It's rare and to be able to open yourself up to that kind of level is something that I wanted. I think that I'm very lucky to be able to have it.
I'm still trying, and I will do my best to pursue what's right and stand up for what's right. In all honesty, I despise conflict and I try to stay away from it, but...no, I can't do that now. Thanks for putting up with my hesitation and selfish wish to go to the park to calm down.
"There's no problem that doesn't have a solution."
Thank you Ge Ge. Hope that you're resting because you were coughing and you were freezing your butt cheeks off. ^^
I'm still trying, and I will do my best to pursue what's right and stand up for what's right. In all honesty, I despise conflict and I try to stay away from it, but...no, I can't do that now. Thanks for putting up with my hesitation and selfish wish to go to the park to calm down.
"There's no problem that doesn't have a solution."
Thank you Ge Ge. Hope that you're resting because you were coughing and you were freezing your butt cheeks off. ^^
Chickenscratch #5
She sipped her passion fruit green tea slowly and stared off blankly at the last fried tofu that was lightly sprinkled with pepper. The person sitting across from her knew better than to think that she was eying it because she wanted it, but he also knew that what she wanted more than anything else in the world was a simple life.
"What are you thinking about?" She blinked away the shine. Ah, someone was home.
"Hm?" She looked off to the side and slightly looked at him and pushed the plate with the tofu towards him. He shook his head and curiously gave her an encouraging look.
"You can have it." She blinked again and quickly stabbed the last tofu with the kabob stick right in the middle, and then popped it into her mouth. The way she held the kabob stick made it look like she was holding a weapon to defend herself. He decided to watch the tv over her shoulder since he was bored.
She swallowed and sipped at her drink again. Then her eyes glazed over as she dazed off again. He slightly frowned and went to tend tn his phone. Although, he knew that she'd tell him eventually.
"I don't know what I'm doing.." she said so quietly that if he wasn't paying attention, he would've thought she didn't say anything at all. He looked up and watched as she was playing some sort of game where she was trying to spear the leftover crumbs on the plate with the kabob stick.
"I'm...not sure what you're doing either."
"No..I mean...I don't know if I'm teaching her right. I don't know what I'm doing half the time." She didn't have to look up to know that he was watching her seriously. She didn't have to explain further either because she trusted him to understand. He was smart like that.
"Do you know why it's better to have experience than knowledge?"
He had a way with words...that made everything just make sense to her. A kind of way that would teach, encourage and comfort her all in one. Afterwards, she would still think on it and it would overwhelm her and make her cry, but it didn't matter. A little after that, she'd be at home brushing her finger against a dream catcher's chime that he gave her so that it would sing and make her favorite sound.
She smiled warmly as she thought of him. Kindness was such a precious gift.
"Jie Jie?" a small voice called. She turned her attention to the small girl in her bed. She heard the sniffles and was reminded of her own when she was biting her lip and in his arms.
"Jie Jie's here. Don't cry."
-----------------------------
I know it's not very good, but this is an entry that means a lot to me. I want to remember it.
Reminder to self: I can do it. I won't give up.
"What are you thinking about?" She blinked away the shine. Ah, someone was home.
"Hm?" She looked off to the side and slightly looked at him and pushed the plate with the tofu towards him. He shook his head and curiously gave her an encouraging look.
"You can have it." She blinked again and quickly stabbed the last tofu with the kabob stick right in the middle, and then popped it into her mouth. The way she held the kabob stick made it look like she was holding a weapon to defend herself. He decided to watch the tv over her shoulder since he was bored.
She swallowed and sipped at her drink again. Then her eyes glazed over as she dazed off again. He slightly frowned and went to tend tn his phone. Although, he knew that she'd tell him eventually.
"I don't know what I'm doing.." she said so quietly that if he wasn't paying attention, he would've thought she didn't say anything at all. He looked up and watched as she was playing some sort of game where she was trying to spear the leftover crumbs on the plate with the kabob stick.
"I'm...not sure what you're doing either."
"No..I mean...I don't know if I'm teaching her right. I don't know what I'm doing half the time." She didn't have to look up to know that he was watching her seriously. She didn't have to explain further either because she trusted him to understand. He was smart like that.
"Do you know why it's better to have experience than knowledge?"
He had a way with words...that made everything just make sense to her. A kind of way that would teach, encourage and comfort her all in one. Afterwards, she would still think on it and it would overwhelm her and make her cry, but it didn't matter. A little after that, she'd be at home brushing her finger against a dream catcher's chime that he gave her so that it would sing and make her favorite sound.
She smiled warmly as she thought of him. Kindness was such a precious gift.
"Jie Jie?" a small voice called. She turned her attention to the small girl in her bed. She heard the sniffles and was reminded of her own when she was biting her lip and in his arms.
"Jie Jie's here. Don't cry."
-----------------------------
I know it's not very good, but this is an entry that means a lot to me. I want to remember it.
Reminder to self: I can do it. I won't give up.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Me = Fail Abstract Artist
Either I'm not going to ever become an abstract artist or the concept is abstract art is just so foreign to me that I just can't grasp it at all. =.= I honestly can't really see how things work out in an abstract form. I suppose organizing geometric patterns into an abstract idea.....hm, I can see that. Well....still trying. Just thought that I should report it.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
20110206 The Shame of Defeat
Fits of contradictions always just scratched its nails upon the board for her.
Indifferent, but too sensitive.
Irate, but desperation to be crying in joy.
Alone, but offered to be cared for.
Wickedly torn, but still whole.
Empty, but filled with fraught hope.
It prickled the ends of her nerves and grated against them like a purring sea urchin pretending to be a friendly cat of some sorts.
It was a sneering, growling famished cannibal, on all fours like a beaten dog trying to defend itself and pounce.
It encircled its clever, little claws against the trapped, desperate sanity struggling against the wall as the monster grasped it by the neck.
It latched its teeth upon her simple dreams and gnashed them to mocking pieces of dust and burning sands.
It stung like a needle stabbed into her veins, emitting fires that left a trace of triumphant blood sliding down from her squeezed eyelids trying to wish the pain away.
But most of all,
It shamed her. It stripped her bare and revealed her most sinning thoughts of defeat and filled her wavering mind with the refusal to give up, the proposal to stand up again from her nightmares that promised that they would return.
Indifferent, but too sensitive.
Irate, but desperation to be crying in joy.
Alone, but offered to be cared for.
Wickedly torn, but still whole.
Empty, but filled with fraught hope.
It prickled the ends of her nerves and grated against them like a purring sea urchin pretending to be a friendly cat of some sorts.
It was a sneering, growling famished cannibal, on all fours like a beaten dog trying to defend itself and pounce.
It encircled its clever, little claws against the trapped, desperate sanity struggling against the wall as the monster grasped it by the neck.
It latched its teeth upon her simple dreams and gnashed them to mocking pieces of dust and burning sands.
It stung like a needle stabbed into her veins, emitting fires that left a trace of triumphant blood sliding down from her squeezed eyelids trying to wish the pain away.
But most of all,
It shamed her. It stripped her bare and revealed her most sinning thoughts of defeat and filled her wavering mind with the refusal to give up, the proposal to stand up again from her nightmares that promised that they would return.
20110206 Undiagnosed
"Loneliness is the emptiest, selfish feeling."
It wasn't like she was locked up in the nuthouse, but god damn it, she did feel like it.
It wasn't like she was forced to listen to the silence, but god damn it, the noises might as well be silence.
It wasn't like she didn't have friends, but god damn it, at the moment, it felt like it didn't matter that she did.
It wasn't like she didn't try to make plans, but god damn it, sometimes it just seemed useless to try to catch someone's interest like rolling strands of her hair between her trembling, impatient fingers.
It wasn't like she didn't love anybody, but god damn it, it seemed like such a desperate, weak feeling when at the back of her mind, she knew that she should be grateful.
It wasn't like she had nobody, but god damn it, sometimes it tired her out to always be the one to initiate something.
It wasn't like she was indifferent, but god damn it, sometimes it just seemed easier to give in to something that didn't demand effort because not caring came too easy.
It wasn't like she didn't want to change, but god damn it, sometimes the feeling of in the end being alone was a frequent visiting leech.
It wasn't like she couldn't just ask to have company, but god damn it, just knowing that she was high maintenance was something she absolutely detested.
It wasn't like she hated herself, but god damn it, she didn't like herself either.
It wasn't like she was simple, but god damn it, how frantically she yearned her life to be.
But it didn't make a single difference because in the end, she was still doing what she did everyday. Sitting out on the curb, pretending that she just wanted fresh air and really just waiting for someone to join her because she hated being alone.
It wasn't like she was locked up in the nuthouse, but god damn it, she did feel like it.
It wasn't like she was forced to listen to the silence, but god damn it, the noises might as well be silence.
It wasn't like she didn't have friends, but god damn it, at the moment, it felt like it didn't matter that she did.
It wasn't like she didn't try to make plans, but god damn it, sometimes it just seemed useless to try to catch someone's interest like rolling strands of her hair between her trembling, impatient fingers.
It wasn't like she didn't love anybody, but god damn it, it seemed like such a desperate, weak feeling when at the back of her mind, she knew that she should be grateful.
It wasn't like she had nobody, but god damn it, sometimes it tired her out to always be the one to initiate something.
It wasn't like she was indifferent, but god damn it, sometimes it just seemed easier to give in to something that didn't demand effort because not caring came too easy.
It wasn't like she didn't want to change, but god damn it, sometimes the feeling of in the end being alone was a frequent visiting leech.
It wasn't like she couldn't just ask to have company, but god damn it, just knowing that she was high maintenance was something she absolutely detested.
It wasn't like she hated herself, but god damn it, she didn't like herself either.
It wasn't like she was simple, but god damn it, how frantically she yearned her life to be.
But it didn't make a single difference because in the end, she was still doing what she did everyday. Sitting out on the curb, pretending that she just wanted fresh air and really just waiting for someone to join her because she hated being alone.
Me = Weekeeeeeeend!
Friday was pretty fun. :) Saturday morning was pretty darn fun too. :) I don't care if there were only 9 people, but apparently I have learned that it does matter about the number of people to some. I didn't know that. Either that....or they just don't understand how fun a three story leveled playground is. Yes...that was fantastically awesome! Hoh hoh hoh. :)
ANYWAYS, I miss hanging out with Fae Mao. :( I also miss hanging out with Ge Ge. Cry face.
ANYWAYS, I miss hanging out with Fae Mao. :( I also miss hanging out with Ge Ge. Cry face.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Picture Diary #306
The slippers itself aren't that good looking, but I really enjoy the idea of owning cute totoro slippers. ^^....I know..I would right? x3
Picture Diary #303
The fantastically beautiful Milan Cathedral. I am so visiting here in the future. Please?
Me = Thank God It's [Almost] Friday
I'm so tired. x.x Rawr......Tomorrow, me and the girls are going to go celebrate one of our birthdays. :) Hopefully, I'll look okay...Crossing my fingers...Anyways, going to bed..just thought that I should say something here.
Kaybye. :)
Kaybye. :)
Monday, January 31, 2011
Chickenscratch #4
Because I don't feel like doing my Wuthering Heights analysis. :)
-------------------------------------------
"You really need to stop fidgeting," she said from behind the easel.
It's not my fault that you don't have a camera.
"Just a little longer, I promise," the girl patiently assured.
Michael flashed her a skeptical look, but nevertheless went back to the bored look gazing out the window. Counting cars was starting to get a little bit tedious, so apparently looking at cloud shapes were going to satisfy boredom.
-20 minutes later-
"Thanks for modeling. I'm really sorry that I left my camera at home."
It's okay.
"Do you like the ice cream though?"
It's different from your usual payment.
"Shut up. I don't have enough time to bake you cookies. I have to be at the airport in an hour." The slightly disappointed look to the side told her that he already knew that last bit of information. She opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it and snuck a bite of her boyfriend's ice cream instead. He jerked it away and accidentally got some on her cheek. The alarmed look on her face melted away into a fit of laughter as he quickly patted himself for a napkin to try to wipe it off.
-30 minutes later-
"So when I get there, the first thing I need to do is buy a webcam and then we'll be able to chat online," he smiled and nodded as laced his fingers with hers. A comfortable silence interrupted their conversation. "Thanks for the ride to the airport by the way, babe." She tried to hide a small sniffle, but his sensitive ears picked it up and he gave her a worried glance. She was biting her lip and looking out the window, while a curtain of her brown hair covered the side of her face. He frowned and rubbed her hand with his thumb. She looked back at him and smiled with tears in her eyes. Suddenly, he let go of her hand and dug out his ipod from his jeans. He plugged it into his stereo and tried to multi-task while trying to scroll through it for a song.
Do you hear me talking to you?
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my, baby I'm trying
She smiled and leaned over to peck him on the cheek.
-15 minutes later-
He tugged her on sleeve and pulled out something from his backpack. Her eyes widened and she looked up at him bewildered.
Sorry. I didn't get to really wrap it all fancy.
"So newspaper had to do? Haha..at least you're getting better at wrapping," she ripped it open and smiled at the present.
Turns out you don't have to buy it when you land after all.
She didn't want to cry in front of him and he knew it, so he immediately hugged her and kissed the top of her head. When she was about to disappear, she turned back and saw just in time Michael signing to her. She smiled and shyly signed back and then disappeared around the corner.
-------------------------------------------
"You really need to stop fidgeting," she said from behind the easel.
It's not my fault that you don't have a camera.
"Just a little longer, I promise," the girl patiently assured.
Michael flashed her a skeptical look, but nevertheless went back to the bored look gazing out the window. Counting cars was starting to get a little bit tedious, so apparently looking at cloud shapes were going to satisfy boredom.
-20 minutes later-
"Thanks for modeling. I'm really sorry that I left my camera at home."
It's okay.
"Do you like the ice cream though?"
It's different from your usual payment.
"Shut up. I don't have enough time to bake you cookies. I have to be at the airport in an hour." The slightly disappointed look to the side told her that he already knew that last bit of information. She opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it and snuck a bite of her boyfriend's ice cream instead. He jerked it away and accidentally got some on her cheek. The alarmed look on her face melted away into a fit of laughter as he quickly patted himself for a napkin to try to wipe it off.
-30 minutes later-
"So when I get there, the first thing I need to do is buy a webcam and then we'll be able to chat online," he smiled and nodded as laced his fingers with hers. A comfortable silence interrupted their conversation. "Thanks for the ride to the airport by the way, babe." She tried to hide a small sniffle, but his sensitive ears picked it up and he gave her a worried glance. She was biting her lip and looking out the window, while a curtain of her brown hair covered the side of her face. He frowned and rubbed her hand with his thumb. She looked back at him and smiled with tears in her eyes. Suddenly, he let go of her hand and dug out his ipod from his jeans. He plugged it into his stereo and tried to multi-task while trying to scroll through it for a song.
Do you hear me talking to you?
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my, baby I'm trying
She smiled and leaned over to peck him on the cheek.
-15 minutes later-
He tugged her on sleeve and pulled out something from his backpack. Her eyes widened and she looked up at him bewildered.
Sorry. I didn't get to really wrap it all fancy.
"So newspaper had to do? Haha..at least you're getting better at wrapping," she ripped it open and smiled at the present.
Turns out you don't have to buy it when you land after all.
She didn't want to cry in front of him and he knew it, so he immediately hugged her and kissed the top of her head. When she was about to disappear, she turned back and saw just in time Michael signing to her. She smiled and shyly signed back and then disappeared around the corner.
Me = Human Water Balloon
I've been retaining so much water lately that I've just been feeling like a human water balloon. Water water water...out bad germy germs. Out! =( Leeeeeeeeave.
It has come to my attention that 007 for Casino Royale after watching it a second time....just doesn't make any sense. o-o''
Another thing that has come to my attention is that I have the acceptance letter now for UC La Verne, Riverside and Cal Poly...Yes~
I also would like to try Eric Carle type of work. His cutouts are rather colorful and amusing. =) I came across some works that were similar of his, so I got interested. ^^
Anyways, tomorrow is the day that Starbucks is introducing their new size called Trenta and I'm going to try it. =) Let's see how it goes with a lemon pound cake. ^^
Okay...back to AP Government and what impact the Brown vs Board of Education had on the unconstitutional/constitutional aspects of American government history....yay~
It has come to my attention that 007 for Casino Royale after watching it a second time....just doesn't make any sense. o-o''
Another thing that has come to my attention is that I have the acceptance letter now for UC La Verne, Riverside and Cal Poly...Yes~
I also would like to try Eric Carle type of work. His cutouts are rather colorful and amusing. =) I came across some works that were similar of his, so I got interested. ^^
Anyways, tomorrow is the day that Starbucks is introducing their new size called Trenta and I'm going to try it. =) Let's see how it goes with a lemon pound cake. ^^
Okay...back to AP Government and what impact the Brown vs Board of Education had on the unconstitutional/constitutional aspects of American government history....yay~
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