Monday, February 28, 2011
Picture Diary #326
Ohmegoshums. This + Bubble Bath + Music = Ultimate Relaxation and Bubble Popping Time! :)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Chickenscratch #8
“It doesn’t really matter how old they are..why are you so stubborn about this?”
“Because it’s just wrong! You don’t get it do you? I would be concerned if my daughter fell in love with someone that was my age!”
“Goodness! Unless you got a girl pregnant while she was in high school, it’s not the same age. Even if it was, isn’t it like that character in Friends? Monica? She loved that doctor who was friends with her Dad. Why didn’t you say anything then when we were watching it?”
“Friends is a TV show..please. Be realistic.”
“You criticize The Kardashians, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, and even Bleach…..and you don’t criticize Friends?”
“Okay..not the point. It’s just wrong that Jay Chou has a 17 year old girlfriend. That is all. If I were their friends or relative, I’d say something.”
“…Like what? Your happiness worries me. I don’t think it’s right,” she was at the end of her rope…she swore to God that this boy was being stupid, friend or not.
“I’d express concern. Obviously, not like that.”
“Sugarcoating something..doesn’t make it any better. You should know better than that Steven.”
“It’s not sugarcoating. It’s an awkward subject. How would you expect me to react?”
“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THEM IS MY POINT! WHO CARES IF THEY’RE TOGETHER? WHO CARES IF THEY’RE 15 YEARS APART? IF YOU THINK 3 YEARS IS MAX WHY DO YOU IDOLIZE YOUR PRECIOUS LAKERS COACH SO MUCH?! LOOK IT UP! NOW HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND WHO IS A LOT YOUNGER THAN HIM!”
“…Phil Jackson is 60 for Christ’s sake.”
“So when it happens to an old fart, it doesn’t matter.”
“Vanessa…watch it,” Patience had a limit.
“Watch this then! I feel no need sitting with someone who is so closed minded. What is with you lately?” she growled, slapped down a twenty on the table, and walked off with her Yogurt Green Tea, the drink that he introduced her to and she had come to love so much.
He wanted so much to run out after her, but pride had him glued to the seat brooding over his Peach Green Tea, the drink that she introduced to him and he had come to love so much. She was just being naïve and overly immature, getting worked up over something like this. Her innocence and the inappropriate circumstances really irritated him too, forming an expression that made their server glance over only to decide to pick up the money left on the table later.
Some things really never changed. She was just so narrow-minded as well, never taking into account…that maybe…just maybe he was a hypocrite.
He at first glared accusingly at the twenty, but then gave in with a deep sigh. She just never changed.
“Because it’s just wrong! You don’t get it do you? I would be concerned if my daughter fell in love with someone that was my age!”
“Goodness! Unless you got a girl pregnant while she was in high school, it’s not the same age. Even if it was, isn’t it like that character in Friends? Monica? She loved that doctor who was friends with her Dad. Why didn’t you say anything then when we were watching it?”
“Friends is a TV show..please. Be realistic.”
“You criticize The Kardashians, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, and even Bleach…..and you don’t criticize Friends?”
“Okay..not the point. It’s just wrong that Jay Chou has a 17 year old girlfriend. That is all. If I were their friends or relative, I’d say something.”
“…Like what? Your happiness worries me. I don’t think it’s right,” she was at the end of her rope…she swore to God that this boy was being stupid, friend or not.
“I’d express concern. Obviously, not like that.”
“Sugarcoating something..doesn’t make it any better. You should know better than that Steven.”
“It’s not sugarcoating. It’s an awkward subject. How would you expect me to react?”
“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THEM IS MY POINT! WHO CARES IF THEY’RE TOGETHER? WHO CARES IF THEY’RE 15 YEARS APART? IF YOU THINK 3 YEARS IS MAX WHY DO YOU IDOLIZE YOUR PRECIOUS LAKERS COACH SO MUCH?! LOOK IT UP! NOW HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND WHO IS A LOT YOUNGER THAN HIM!”
“…Phil Jackson is 60 for Christ’s sake.”
“So when it happens to an old fart, it doesn’t matter.”
“Vanessa…watch it,” Patience had a limit.
“Watch this then! I feel no need sitting with someone who is so closed minded. What is with you lately?” she growled, slapped down a twenty on the table, and walked off with her Yogurt Green Tea, the drink that he introduced her to and she had come to love so much.
He wanted so much to run out after her, but pride had him glued to the seat brooding over his Peach Green Tea, the drink that she introduced to him and he had come to love so much. She was just being naïve and overly immature, getting worked up over something like this. Her innocence and the inappropriate circumstances really irritated him too, forming an expression that made their server glance over only to decide to pick up the money left on the table later.
Some things really never changed. She was just so narrow-minded as well, never taking into account…that maybe…just maybe he was a hypocrite.
He at first glared accusingly at the twenty, but then gave in with a deep sigh. She just never changed.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Chickenscratch #7
“It’s all right. You’ll be okay,” she smiled and reached up to fix his hair comfortingly. When he froze, she alarmingly froze as well. “Did I say something wrong?”
“You shouldn’t do that,” he said flatly as he took her hand away from his head.
“Do….what?” she asked innocently. He struggled internally. How was he going to explain to her? The look on his face threw her to a panic. Was it something she said? Did she do something wrong? When he didn’t say anything, she bit her lower lip. “I’m sorry….I’m not really sure what I did, but I’m sorry. I’ll leave if I’m not helping.”
“No, it’s not you,” he quickly said and grabbed her arm. She turned her head back at him confused. He sighed and looked off to the side. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You didn’t do anything. I just don’t think that this is appropriate.”
“Um……what?”
Dumbass. What was he saying? He frowned slightly, but then looked at her square in the eye. No…it wasn’t right. She was only trying to comfort him and be there the way she always wanted to every time she called him back in high school when she was lonely or crying because of her parents. Slowly, he smiled at her sincerely and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“Nevermind, I’m sorry. I can’t really think straight right now.” Her expression relaxed and she gave him a forgiving smile.
“Oh…well it’s okay!” she optimistically hooked his arm with hers and dragged him to the living room, “Let’s watch Godfather then! It’ll cheer you up! I can’t believe you’ve never watched it!”
He laughed. She was so weirdly amusing. It was definitely inappropriate. She used to see him as an older brother for Christ’s sake.
“Hey….are you okay?” He turned and saw her sitting next to him already on the couch with the Main Menu screen already on the television. “Well….we don’t have to watch Godfather. We can watch whatever you want,” she quickly said. It was so like her to think that…..
“No, I’m fine. Let’s watch.”
---------------
So weird....based on my dreams. Apparently, I'm watching a TV show and the characters kind of are based on these events.
“You shouldn’t do that,” he said flatly as he took her hand away from his head.
“Do….what?” she asked innocently. He struggled internally. How was he going to explain to her? The look on his face threw her to a panic. Was it something she said? Did she do something wrong? When he didn’t say anything, she bit her lower lip. “I’m sorry….I’m not really sure what I did, but I’m sorry. I’ll leave if I’m not helping.”
“No, it’s not you,” he quickly said and grabbed her arm. She turned her head back at him confused. He sighed and looked off to the side. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You didn’t do anything. I just don’t think that this is appropriate.”
“Um……what?”
Dumbass. What was he saying? He frowned slightly, but then looked at her square in the eye. No…it wasn’t right. She was only trying to comfort him and be there the way she always wanted to every time she called him back in high school when she was lonely or crying because of her parents. Slowly, he smiled at her sincerely and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“Nevermind, I’m sorry. I can’t really think straight right now.” Her expression relaxed and she gave him a forgiving smile.
“Oh…well it’s okay!” she optimistically hooked his arm with hers and dragged him to the living room, “Let’s watch Godfather then! It’ll cheer you up! I can’t believe you’ve never watched it!”
He laughed. She was so weirdly amusing. It was definitely inappropriate. She used to see him as an older brother for Christ’s sake.
“Hey….are you okay?” He turned and saw her sitting next to him already on the couch with the Main Menu screen already on the television. “Well….we don’t have to watch Godfather. We can watch whatever you want,” she quickly said. It was so like her to think that…..
“No, I’m fine. Let’s watch.”
---------------
So weird....based on my dreams. Apparently, I'm watching a TV show and the characters kind of are based on these events.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Chickenscratch #6
Time certainly flew by. It had been 3 years since he had seen her. He remembered fondly of when she had graduated from high school, so naïve, wonderfully strange and innocent. She had left a message on his Facebook wall wishing him a happy holidays when it ended up them arranging a time to meet up and catch up. She had called him older brother back then and it was still true when she had left the message.
He waited at the Starbucks and breathed out. It was raining and he could see his breath escape his lips in a warm mini fog. His cell phone emitted a little jingle and he quickly looked at it. Apparently, she was stuck in traffic. Yep..time to head on inside. He was freezing his ass off.
He remembered that she used to order a trenta iced black tea no matter what weather, but obviously the idea that she would still have that habit was a little doubtful.
“Hi! May I help you?” the girl at the counter cheerfully said. Hm. Apparently, they were recruiting high schoolers for employees.
“One tall hot black tea, sweetened.” Someone came in and waited behind him in line.
“All right and what’s your name?”
“Steven.”
He paid and was given his change and went off to the side to wait. He looked outside and wondered if she still used that clear umbrella that she was given when she was graduating. Probably…she wasn’t the type to throw necessities away unless they were broken beyond repair.
“One trenta iced black tea please.”
“Would you like that sweetened?”
“No thanks.” He quickly turned. Well….how about it. Guessed the idea wasn’t so doubtful after all. She was still slender, and open to the idea of wearing boots because she was always unhappy with her height. Maybe another inch or two for the height. He watched her pay from money in a black leather wallet that was attached to a Tigger lanyard with her car keys. Definitely, still the same. She tucked the wallet-lanyard-car keys mess into her bag and when she looked up she met eyes with his. I’m sorry…had he actually thought still the same? The skinny, awkward little girl had become an attractive piece of eye candy. How typical of a man to think so. She had dyed her hair brown and curled it on the bottom. No more acne and her nails were French tipped.
“How are you?”
“I’m good, how’s college?”
“A lot better than high school,” she said politely. He smiled as he remembered her always saying how much she couldn’t wait turn 18 and go off to college.
“I knew that you’d like it.”
“So what’s new?” she inquired as they both got their drinks.
“Um…well I moved out and now I’m living with Michael.”
“Oh, that’s cool! Where?”
“Over at Bridgewood near downtown.”
“Hey, I have a friend that lives there. Maybe I’ll drop by sometime.”
“We could go to Little Tokyo and eat at that sushi place that you like.”
“Oh actually honey, I’m a vegetarian now.” That was completely surprising.
“Wait…what?”
“I know right. Vegetarian. Remember how I used to say how I wouldn’t ever be one because I love sushi too much. It was so hard at first. Wahh~” That…wasn’t what was surprising. He had always had faith that she could do it…it was something else, but he ignored it.
“That’s good though! Congratulations!” She smiled meekly.
“Did you ever get to be vegetarian?”
“Still trying,” he said vaguely embarrassed. She placed a comforting hand over his and smiled.
“Keep trying, you can do it.” He blinked and looked up at her. She still hadn’t changed, but after 3 years, it seemed like he had.
He waited at the Starbucks and breathed out. It was raining and he could see his breath escape his lips in a warm mini fog. His cell phone emitted a little jingle and he quickly looked at it. Apparently, she was stuck in traffic. Yep..time to head on inside. He was freezing his ass off.
He remembered that she used to order a trenta iced black tea no matter what weather, but obviously the idea that she would still have that habit was a little doubtful.
“Hi! May I help you?” the girl at the counter cheerfully said. Hm. Apparently, they were recruiting high schoolers for employees.
“One tall hot black tea, sweetened.” Someone came in and waited behind him in line.
“All right and what’s your name?”
“Steven.”
He paid and was given his change and went off to the side to wait. He looked outside and wondered if she still used that clear umbrella that she was given when she was graduating. Probably…she wasn’t the type to throw necessities away unless they were broken beyond repair.
“One trenta iced black tea please.”
“Would you like that sweetened?”
“No thanks.” He quickly turned. Well….how about it. Guessed the idea wasn’t so doubtful after all. She was still slender, and open to the idea of wearing boots because she was always unhappy with her height. Maybe another inch or two for the height. He watched her pay from money in a black leather wallet that was attached to a Tigger lanyard with her car keys. Definitely, still the same. She tucked the wallet-lanyard-car keys mess into her bag and when she looked up she met eyes with his. I’m sorry…had he actually thought still the same? The skinny, awkward little girl had become an attractive piece of eye candy. How typical of a man to think so. She had dyed her hair brown and curled it on the bottom. No more acne and her nails were French tipped.
“How are you?”
“I’m good, how’s college?”
“A lot better than high school,” she said politely. He smiled as he remembered her always saying how much she couldn’t wait turn 18 and go off to college.
“I knew that you’d like it.”
“So what’s new?” she inquired as they both got their drinks.
“Um…well I moved out and now I’m living with Michael.”
“Oh, that’s cool! Where?”
“Over at Bridgewood near downtown.”
“Hey, I have a friend that lives there. Maybe I’ll drop by sometime.”
“We could go to Little Tokyo and eat at that sushi place that you like.”
“Oh actually honey, I’m a vegetarian now.” That was completely surprising.
“Wait…what?”
“I know right. Vegetarian. Remember how I used to say how I wouldn’t ever be one because I love sushi too much. It was so hard at first. Wahh~” That…wasn’t what was surprising. He had always had faith that she could do it…it was something else, but he ignored it.
“That’s good though! Congratulations!” She smiled meekly.
“Did you ever get to be vegetarian?”
“Still trying,” he said vaguely embarrassed. She placed a comforting hand over his and smiled.
“Keep trying, you can do it.” He blinked and looked up at her. She still hadn’t changed, but after 3 years, it seemed like he had.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
20110220 Something Like That
There's something about being an individual that makes you want to make a mark on the rest of the world…well something besides your grave. Something remembered. Something kind and sweet.
Maybe you helped that one lady on the road change her tire.
Maybe you always wished that one person who meant so much to you for their happiness.
Maybe you hoped for the best and pray for the safety of the people you loved.
Maybe you helped that one grandpa pick up his wallet when it tumbled out.
Maybe you comforted that girl who was left crying in the bathroom during recess.
There's just something about being able to become a memory, something personal to someone.
It didn't really matter if you become a favorite moment. One of those moments where people replay over and over again because it made you smile. It would have just been nice to be in their memory piggy bank.
It's doesn't really have to do with pride, or money, or attention, or lust, or greed, or jealousy, or anything like that. It doesn't really have to do with crushes, or asking people out, or getting a pet, or driving a car for the first time, or really any of those experiences.
It was more just being recognized, being there at that instant, being able to be there when you can and being able to have the courage to care.
There's something about being a human being that makes you want to mean something. Maybe not just for yourself…but just mean something to someone.
Yeah, something like that.
Maybe you helped that one lady on the road change her tire.
Maybe you always wished that one person who meant so much to you for their happiness.
Maybe you hoped for the best and pray for the safety of the people you loved.
Maybe you helped that one grandpa pick up his wallet when it tumbled out.
Maybe you comforted that girl who was left crying in the bathroom during recess.
There's just something about being able to become a memory, something personal to someone.
It didn't really matter if you become a favorite moment. One of those moments where people replay over and over again because it made you smile. It would have just been nice to be in their memory piggy bank.
It's doesn't really have to do with pride, or money, or attention, or lust, or greed, or jealousy, or anything like that. It doesn't really have to do with crushes, or asking people out, or getting a pet, or driving a car for the first time, or really any of those experiences.
It was more just being recognized, being there at that instant, being able to be there when you can and being able to have the courage to care.
There's something about being a human being that makes you want to mean something. Maybe not just for yourself…but just mean something to someone.
Yeah, something like that.
Me = Yay! Good Start to 3-Day Weekend
So my Ge Ge introduced me to 蕭閎仁's music. Haha, yay! :) I love his 惦惦...好嗎? song and the MV that goes with it. ^^ Pretty dang awesome. Sometimes just want people to shush. Hmph. Apparently, there are times when a guy's in a relationship where he just wants peace and quiet..although I can see how they would be annoyed if their girlfriend is like the girlfriend in the MV. ._.''
Anyways....my day was wonderful yesterday and I really hope that it's a good one today. All Star game is today and I want to watch it....but unfortunately father is using the TV for something. Hm...oh well.
Hm. I'm hungry. Time for a mini bagel.
Anyways....my day was wonderful yesterday and I really hope that it's a good one today. All Star game is today and I want to watch it....but unfortunately father is using the TV for something. Hm...oh well.
Hm. I'm hungry. Time for a mini bagel.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Me = Aiyaaaaaaaa....
You know when you’re singing along with this song, and you know all the words cause you really love it. Then a train passes and a door closes, and you can’t hear the music anymore, but you keep singing anyway. Then, when you can hear it again, you’re still perfectly in time with it. Well, that’s what love is.
That's....certainly one way to put it....o-o'' as..cliche as it is..it's not bad.
----------------------------
I think that I'm attached to the concept of familiarity. I feel.....dirty when I'm alone. I'm not really sure why. Blah....it's like 2:39 in the morning...Good night world. =.=''
That's....certainly one way to put it....o-o'' as..cliche as it is..it's not bad.
----------------------------
I think that I'm attached to the concept of familiarity. I feel.....dirty when I'm alone. I'm not really sure why. Blah....it's like 2:39 in the morning...Good night world. =.=''
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Me = Project Inquiry
So I was quite unable to actually think about what to do for the project because we actually had to write an outline about public policy and public opinion about exit polls and whatnot. And for English we actually had to do research and flip through the Wuthering Heights book for quotes about these 8 topics that nobody reeeeally care about. Sorry Emily Bronte....but nobody really cares about Wuthering Heights, even if it is nicely written. =\
Anyways...I'm taking a break from the gym right now because I am..pretty tired. 20 minutes of actual running and I'm not really sure how long I was on the stairs machine. Hm....so actual projects.....
I could do a year of 12 different types of media, but one theme. (a media/month) And....I'd need to do three pieces each month.
I could try the vegetarian thing for a year. See how that goes, but I'd have to be really really committed.
Ooooor...I could write a letter to someone everyday. 356 different people. That would be interesting. Hm.
Hm...well break time's over. Back to hip hoppiting.
Anyways...I'm taking a break from the gym right now because I am..pretty tired. 20 minutes of actual running and I'm not really sure how long I was on the stairs machine. Hm....so actual projects.....
I could do a year of 12 different types of media, but one theme. (a media/month) And....I'd need to do three pieces each month.
I could try the vegetarian thing for a year. See how that goes, but I'd have to be really really committed.
Ooooor...I could write a letter to someone everyday. 356 different people. That would be interesting. Hm.
Hm...well break time's over. Back to hip hoppiting.
Picture Diary #319
The Pudu: World’s smallest deer.
They live in bamboo thickets to hide from predators, and can weigh up to 12 kilograms (26 pounds).
It's like a chibi Bambi. =D
Me = Inspired and Awed
You know, those kind of blogs where it seems like the blogger takes time out of their busy schedule to report something to their blog everyday like some sort of project for about a year or for whatever duration. (Although, it seems like whatever is less than a year is kind of weak....I wonder if thinking that makes me a bad person...) An example would be Julie Powell and her Julie and Julia project...which is entirely out of my budget...obviously, but I so wish I had the knack for making fattening, but drool manufacturing dishes. ;^;
Anyways...I kind of want to try this kind of project..it seems pretty interesting. :) I shall think upon what to do. Maybe I'll do that meatless thing....although that means no sushi for a year...which makes my tummy sneer angrily. I'm definitely not patient enough to go vegan for a year. The idea of depriving my tummy of more food (i.e. milk and eggs) now just makes my tummy throw a tantrum. Hm...although I kind of want to do it related to something about health. It seems more amusing that way.
After all, like Edwin Arlington Robinson says: "Life is the game that must be played." And I would preferably play a game that is interesting rather than rehearsed and playing it safe. If a metaphor helps..I'd rather like poker (a game with a potential intense risk) than something like charades (where there's not really anything on the line, unless there's a bet involved or pride I guess...if you're that kind of person-although, to be honest, there isn't much pride when you're standing there in front of a group of people trying to be a vulture flapping your arms while walking in a circle multiple times....shaddup >_>'').
[sidenote: Don't get me wrong.....charades is pretty fantastically (no sarcasm, I promise) fun. :) I played it all the time during the holiday season last year with my BW friends and it was definitely something that I wouldn't mind playing again. ^^]
Hm...proooject...proooject..I shall ponder upon this at school, which I am leaving for soon. ^^
Kaybye!
Anyways...I kind of want to try this kind of project..it seems pretty interesting. :) I shall think upon what to do. Maybe I'll do that meatless thing....although that means no sushi for a year...which makes my tummy sneer angrily. I'm definitely not patient enough to go vegan for a year. The idea of depriving my tummy of more food (i.e. milk and eggs) now just makes my tummy throw a tantrum. Hm...although I kind of want to do it related to something about health. It seems more amusing that way.
After all, like Edwin Arlington Robinson says: "Life is the game that must be played." And I would preferably play a game that is interesting rather than rehearsed and playing it safe. If a metaphor helps..I'd rather like poker (a game with a potential intense risk) than something like charades (where there's not really anything on the line, unless there's a bet involved or pride I guess...if you're that kind of person-although, to be honest, there isn't much pride when you're standing there in front of a group of people trying to be a vulture flapping your arms while walking in a circle multiple times....shaddup >_>'').
[sidenote: Don't get me wrong.....charades is pretty fantastically (no sarcasm, I promise) fun. :) I played it all the time during the holiday season last year with my BW friends and it was definitely something that I wouldn't mind playing again. ^^]
Hm...proooject...proooject..I shall ponder upon this at school, which I am leaving for soon. ^^
Kaybye!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Me = Amused with Vocabulary
Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of going to school (what is someone really had this? o.O)
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia- Fear of blood (does this qualify if its like blood puddles or blood on my hands?)
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words (this one always made me chuckle)
Sinophobia- Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture (is having the word sin in this word just coincidence or racist? haha. xD)
Tonitrophobia- Fear of thunder (not really...but I do tremble a little..bad habit)
Is there a fear of thinking too much? o.O'' Hmmmm.
Well finding out the different types of phobias always sparked my interest. Now..back to washing the dishes I go.
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia- Fear of blood (does this qualify if its like blood puddles or blood on my hands?)
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words (this one always made me chuckle)
Sinophobia- Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture (is having the word sin in this word just coincidence or racist? haha. xD)
Tonitrophobia- Fear of thunder (not really...but I do tremble a little..bad habit)
Is there a fear of thinking too much? o.O'' Hmmmm.
Well finding out the different types of phobias always sparked my interest. Now..back to washing the dishes I go.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Me = "Kindness is a precious gift."
As well as compassion. I think that having someone who you aren't afraid to have read you like an open book is something to really cherish. It's nice. It's rare and to be able to open yourself up to that kind of level is something that I wanted. I think that I'm very lucky to be able to have it.
I'm still trying, and I will do my best to pursue what's right and stand up for what's right. In all honesty, I despise conflict and I try to stay away from it, but...no, I can't do that now. Thanks for putting up with my hesitation and selfish wish to go to the park to calm down.
"There's no problem that doesn't have a solution."
Thank you Ge Ge. Hope that you're resting because you were coughing and you were freezing your butt cheeks off. ^^
I'm still trying, and I will do my best to pursue what's right and stand up for what's right. In all honesty, I despise conflict and I try to stay away from it, but...no, I can't do that now. Thanks for putting up with my hesitation and selfish wish to go to the park to calm down.
"There's no problem that doesn't have a solution."
Thank you Ge Ge. Hope that you're resting because you were coughing and you were freezing your butt cheeks off. ^^
Chickenscratch #5
She sipped her passion fruit green tea slowly and stared off blankly at the last fried tofu that was lightly sprinkled with pepper. The person sitting across from her knew better than to think that she was eying it because she wanted it, but he also knew that what she wanted more than anything else in the world was a simple life.
"What are you thinking about?" She blinked away the shine. Ah, someone was home.
"Hm?" She looked off to the side and slightly looked at him and pushed the plate with the tofu towards him. He shook his head and curiously gave her an encouraging look.
"You can have it." She blinked again and quickly stabbed the last tofu with the kabob stick right in the middle, and then popped it into her mouth. The way she held the kabob stick made it look like she was holding a weapon to defend herself. He decided to watch the tv over her shoulder since he was bored.
She swallowed and sipped at her drink again. Then her eyes glazed over as she dazed off again. He slightly frowned and went to tend tn his phone. Although, he knew that she'd tell him eventually.
"I don't know what I'm doing.." she said so quietly that if he wasn't paying attention, he would've thought she didn't say anything at all. He looked up and watched as she was playing some sort of game where she was trying to spear the leftover crumbs on the plate with the kabob stick.
"I'm...not sure what you're doing either."
"No..I mean...I don't know if I'm teaching her right. I don't know what I'm doing half the time." She didn't have to look up to know that he was watching her seriously. She didn't have to explain further either because she trusted him to understand. He was smart like that.
"Do you know why it's better to have experience than knowledge?"
He had a way with words...that made everything just make sense to her. A kind of way that would teach, encourage and comfort her all in one. Afterwards, she would still think on it and it would overwhelm her and make her cry, but it didn't matter. A little after that, she'd be at home brushing her finger against a dream catcher's chime that he gave her so that it would sing and make her favorite sound.
She smiled warmly as she thought of him. Kindness was such a precious gift.
"Jie Jie?" a small voice called. She turned her attention to the small girl in her bed. She heard the sniffles and was reminded of her own when she was biting her lip and in his arms.
"Jie Jie's here. Don't cry."
-----------------------------
I know it's not very good, but this is an entry that means a lot to me. I want to remember it.
Reminder to self: I can do it. I won't give up.
"What are you thinking about?" She blinked away the shine. Ah, someone was home.
"Hm?" She looked off to the side and slightly looked at him and pushed the plate with the tofu towards him. He shook his head and curiously gave her an encouraging look.
"You can have it." She blinked again and quickly stabbed the last tofu with the kabob stick right in the middle, and then popped it into her mouth. The way she held the kabob stick made it look like she was holding a weapon to defend herself. He decided to watch the tv over her shoulder since he was bored.
She swallowed and sipped at her drink again. Then her eyes glazed over as she dazed off again. He slightly frowned and went to tend tn his phone. Although, he knew that she'd tell him eventually.
"I don't know what I'm doing.." she said so quietly that if he wasn't paying attention, he would've thought she didn't say anything at all. He looked up and watched as she was playing some sort of game where she was trying to spear the leftover crumbs on the plate with the kabob stick.
"I'm...not sure what you're doing either."
"No..I mean...I don't know if I'm teaching her right. I don't know what I'm doing half the time." She didn't have to look up to know that he was watching her seriously. She didn't have to explain further either because she trusted him to understand. He was smart like that.
"Do you know why it's better to have experience than knowledge?"
He had a way with words...that made everything just make sense to her. A kind of way that would teach, encourage and comfort her all in one. Afterwards, she would still think on it and it would overwhelm her and make her cry, but it didn't matter. A little after that, she'd be at home brushing her finger against a dream catcher's chime that he gave her so that it would sing and make her favorite sound.
She smiled warmly as she thought of him. Kindness was such a precious gift.
"Jie Jie?" a small voice called. She turned her attention to the small girl in her bed. She heard the sniffles and was reminded of her own when she was biting her lip and in his arms.
"Jie Jie's here. Don't cry."
-----------------------------
I know it's not very good, but this is an entry that means a lot to me. I want to remember it.
Reminder to self: I can do it. I won't give up.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Me = Fail Abstract Artist
Either I'm not going to ever become an abstract artist or the concept is abstract art is just so foreign to me that I just can't grasp it at all. =.= I honestly can't really see how things work out in an abstract form. I suppose organizing geometric patterns into an abstract idea.....hm, I can see that. Well....still trying. Just thought that I should report it.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
20110206 The Shame of Defeat
Fits of contradictions always just scratched its nails upon the board for her.
Indifferent, but too sensitive.
Irate, but desperation to be crying in joy.
Alone, but offered to be cared for.
Wickedly torn, but still whole.
Empty, but filled with fraught hope.
It prickled the ends of her nerves and grated against them like a purring sea urchin pretending to be a friendly cat of some sorts.
It was a sneering, growling famished cannibal, on all fours like a beaten dog trying to defend itself and pounce.
It encircled its clever, little claws against the trapped, desperate sanity struggling against the wall as the monster grasped it by the neck.
It latched its teeth upon her simple dreams and gnashed them to mocking pieces of dust and burning sands.
It stung like a needle stabbed into her veins, emitting fires that left a trace of triumphant blood sliding down from her squeezed eyelids trying to wish the pain away.
But most of all,
It shamed her. It stripped her bare and revealed her most sinning thoughts of defeat and filled her wavering mind with the refusal to give up, the proposal to stand up again from her nightmares that promised that they would return.
Indifferent, but too sensitive.
Irate, but desperation to be crying in joy.
Alone, but offered to be cared for.
Wickedly torn, but still whole.
Empty, but filled with fraught hope.
It prickled the ends of her nerves and grated against them like a purring sea urchin pretending to be a friendly cat of some sorts.
It was a sneering, growling famished cannibal, on all fours like a beaten dog trying to defend itself and pounce.
It encircled its clever, little claws against the trapped, desperate sanity struggling against the wall as the monster grasped it by the neck.
It latched its teeth upon her simple dreams and gnashed them to mocking pieces of dust and burning sands.
It stung like a needle stabbed into her veins, emitting fires that left a trace of triumphant blood sliding down from her squeezed eyelids trying to wish the pain away.
But most of all,
It shamed her. It stripped her bare and revealed her most sinning thoughts of defeat and filled her wavering mind with the refusal to give up, the proposal to stand up again from her nightmares that promised that they would return.
20110206 Undiagnosed
"Loneliness is the emptiest, selfish feeling."
It wasn't like she was locked up in the nuthouse, but god damn it, she did feel like it.
It wasn't like she was forced to listen to the silence, but god damn it, the noises might as well be silence.
It wasn't like she didn't have friends, but god damn it, at the moment, it felt like it didn't matter that she did.
It wasn't like she didn't try to make plans, but god damn it, sometimes it just seemed useless to try to catch someone's interest like rolling strands of her hair between her trembling, impatient fingers.
It wasn't like she didn't love anybody, but god damn it, it seemed like such a desperate, weak feeling when at the back of her mind, she knew that she should be grateful.
It wasn't like she had nobody, but god damn it, sometimes it tired her out to always be the one to initiate something.
It wasn't like she was indifferent, but god damn it, sometimes it just seemed easier to give in to something that didn't demand effort because not caring came too easy.
It wasn't like she didn't want to change, but god damn it, sometimes the feeling of in the end being alone was a frequent visiting leech.
It wasn't like she couldn't just ask to have company, but god damn it, just knowing that she was high maintenance was something she absolutely detested.
It wasn't like she hated herself, but god damn it, she didn't like herself either.
It wasn't like she was simple, but god damn it, how frantically she yearned her life to be.
But it didn't make a single difference because in the end, she was still doing what she did everyday. Sitting out on the curb, pretending that she just wanted fresh air and really just waiting for someone to join her because she hated being alone.
It wasn't like she was locked up in the nuthouse, but god damn it, she did feel like it.
It wasn't like she was forced to listen to the silence, but god damn it, the noises might as well be silence.
It wasn't like she didn't have friends, but god damn it, at the moment, it felt like it didn't matter that she did.
It wasn't like she didn't try to make plans, but god damn it, sometimes it just seemed useless to try to catch someone's interest like rolling strands of her hair between her trembling, impatient fingers.
It wasn't like she didn't love anybody, but god damn it, it seemed like such a desperate, weak feeling when at the back of her mind, she knew that she should be grateful.
It wasn't like she had nobody, but god damn it, sometimes it tired her out to always be the one to initiate something.
It wasn't like she was indifferent, but god damn it, sometimes it just seemed easier to give in to something that didn't demand effort because not caring came too easy.
It wasn't like she didn't want to change, but god damn it, sometimes the feeling of in the end being alone was a frequent visiting leech.
It wasn't like she couldn't just ask to have company, but god damn it, just knowing that she was high maintenance was something she absolutely detested.
It wasn't like she hated herself, but god damn it, she didn't like herself either.
It wasn't like she was simple, but god damn it, how frantically she yearned her life to be.
But it didn't make a single difference because in the end, she was still doing what she did everyday. Sitting out on the curb, pretending that she just wanted fresh air and really just waiting for someone to join her because she hated being alone.
Me = Weekeeeeeeend!
Friday was pretty fun. :) Saturday morning was pretty darn fun too. :) I don't care if there were only 9 people, but apparently I have learned that it does matter about the number of people to some. I didn't know that. Either that....or they just don't understand how fun a three story leveled playground is. Yes...that was fantastically awesome! Hoh hoh hoh. :)
ANYWAYS, I miss hanging out with Fae Mao. :( I also miss hanging out with Ge Ge. Cry face.
ANYWAYS, I miss hanging out with Fae Mao. :( I also miss hanging out with Ge Ge. Cry face.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Picture Diary #306
The slippers itself aren't that good looking, but I really enjoy the idea of owning cute totoro slippers. ^^....I know..I would right? x3
Picture Diary #303
The fantastically beautiful Milan Cathedral. I am so visiting here in the future. Please?
Me = Thank God It's [Almost] Friday
I'm so tired. x.x Rawr......Tomorrow, me and the girls are going to go celebrate one of our birthdays. :) Hopefully, I'll look okay...Crossing my fingers...Anyways, going to bed..just thought that I should say something here.
Kaybye. :)
Kaybye. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)