Me = Playlist Repetition

My goodness. I've been listening to the same playlist for the past 2 weeks. .____.'' The same 20 songs....over and over again. I absolutely can't believe it. When I put it in words, I find it unbelieveable, but when I really think about it, it feels like a habit now. So instead of all the other 217 songs that I used to pride myself in saying where I actually listen to every single one of them, I'm now reserved to automatically click on the playlist that I've made myself (along with Fae Mao's help) simply because the songs fit my mood. Since the Internet is a very out in the open place and I tend to find a need to display what I think with words. I shall step back and keep these song names to myself for the fear of being found out. It's so embarrassing...but it makes me really happy. It's confusing and such a hazard to figure out. ._____.'' I really don't get it, no matter how much I want to get it, I just don't.

Maybe. I'll wait it out. Although, the only thing that I will say on here is that...a few parts in the song "Fallin' For You" by Colbie Calliat...is very "fitting." (word said by Fae Mao)

032310 Music Box

There was a music box on the ground
Next to a piano, polished and proud
The piano sang a mellifluous sound
A string of elegant resonance aloud

A soft sonata, a delicate work of art
Towering over the box, small and mute
Mesmerized, and refusing to part
Sophisticated in its black suit

A grand finale, exploding applause
The devoted spectators go on home
The suit stripped gone with evident flaws
Strolling along the stage, free to roam

Back and forth along the waiting keys
Black and white, clear emotions uttered
A song to search for a way to appease
Inept over passion, raw and cluttered

A frustrated cry and a distressed plea
Reaching for the waiting box, shaking
A soundless hope to be please set free
As if the key to melancholy was waking

A frail tinkling melody calls out to tears
A tender stroking hand, as if petting mink
A kind, grey memory eases the fears
No longer shall this yearning heart sink

It tinkled and sang a song of its own
It calmed and loved quietly, always there
Whispered to things that have never grown
A reminisce to a time when things seemed fair


This one reminds me of the book Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby by Fitzgerald. That book is so depressing. >->''

032210 Dying Flowers

There’s petals on the table
Spilling onto the floor
Not from a ‘once upon a time’ fable
Left dusty in a drawer

There are shards scattered in the room
From the vases thrown around
And the mirrors cracked from gloom
That protested with sickening sounds

There are stains on the carpet
From tears that had fell
Equally bitter as equally wet
Leaving behind an empty shell

There are wrinkles in the covers
From clutching screaming pain
From eyes that see nothing that recovers
From skin that’s only comforted in rain

Above him where she had curled crying
Her hero back home from the war
And there are flowers lain dying
Around her on the floor

Me = Post #101

I didn't realize that I already had 100 posts until just now. >-< Haha...confiding in typing to the Internet to announce how I feel. Sounds like I need to find more interests when I have to put it like that. Le sigh.... Oh wells, blogging is actually pretty fun. =) I just see it as another form of expression. Like Teko says, "Make your presence known." Haha. =) Speaking of Teko, I saw him at a workshop over the weekend. It was pretty cool to see him again. I was half expecting another lesson in all honesty. I had a lot of strawberries at the Saturday class, so there's a plus. ^^

sidenote: I wonder what strawberries and white chocolate taste like together. Hrm. Food for thought. =)

032010 Falling or Flying

I’m falling but I don’t know where I am
A flailing lion or a scared, trembling lamb?
Have I slipped from reality or the sky?
Or have I simply let my racing heart fly?
Why have the moments seem blurred
You aren’t a prince the first or third
Why do I bother finding a dream in armor?
When I don’t even recognize the feelings you stir
Do I look like I’m dressed in blue and white?
Chasing rabbits and tea party invites?
Have I fallen through a rabbit hole or time?
Or is this something blooming in its prime?
I don’t understand, I don’t comprehend
Are you here to help my heart ascend?
I’m stumbling through swirling lights and air
Between love and war, is it really that fair?
Falling or flying, I don’t know which
Is this me falling into cupid’s niche?
Falling or flying, is it that one or the other?
All I know is I’m not giving my heart soon to another


Not all that fond of this one...but I'll have to keep it for the sake of future reflection of progress....So....mushy.... >-<'' -cringe-...Really not used to this...

031710 My Non-Fairy Tale

I remember I took my dreams that day
And put them locked and all away
I was told to see reason and be awake
That my hopes were full of glitter and fake

For I can’t be like Sleeping Beauty, Aurora
I don’t have her golden curls and gentle aura
And you can’t just arise one day to find
That the one for you for your soul and mind

I thought on and thought some more
And I can’t be like Cinderella who started poor
I have no magic pumpkin, or silver gown
No stairs to lose my slipper while running down

And being Ariel is too far fetched
No air in my lungs stays even if I first stretched
With her vision to dance on streets
Sit by her Eric happily married in their seats

I have no liberty to be Jasmine’s sort
To have Aladdin who flies carpets for sport
Have a whole new world shown to my eyes
By the one who let me touch the night skies

No golden dress worn by Princess Belle
No expectations to break a mystic spell
No moments mesmerized by a rose’s charm
No helping furniture or stuffy butler alarm

But then again I’m no princess in need
No pink sashes or glittery lace indeed
But the one I can be is Wendy Darling
Gazing at star Neverland sparkling

For..maybe I don't have to be in a fairy tale
No fairy godmother to say that love shall prevail
Maybe I just have to live and wait
And if I'm lucky...I'll meet my soul mate

031710 Clearly Blind

There is no sin, but no right
There is shared silence, but no fight
There is no regret, but defiance
But then again, there’s not much difference
A gentle brush and a playful shake
The lock I put on is about to break
A little squirm against the cold
Not minding, but your hands warmer to hold
A bubbling, escaping Juliet sigh
Thoughts and memories carry the heart high
The impossible reason’s fear settling in
Perhaps this is punishment, evading sin?
A creeping shiver, those natural fears
The cliché phobia that ends in tears
A clasp of hands, a wish in night’s prayer
But first to know past the first, curious layer
Wish upon a smile of Romeo’s answered return
Sighing again, there are so many things to learn

Me = Owner of My First Pair of Plastic Glasses

No longer metal. Plastic now. Vous etre plastique. =) A new set of eyes, to be corny enough. Haha. I apologize for the awkward expresion. I was frustrated that I couldn't hold the camera still enough, which ended in me looking like I had my wisdom teeth pulled out. Charming...

Despite the sarcasm (still trying to lessen that..), I'm in a particularly good mood today. Must have something with finally settling and giving in to the youth's stupidity. (See post: Me = A Case of Youth's Stupidity) It actually doesn't sit all that badly with me, in fact....it sits pretty well with me at the moment. Definitely holding record for the fastest to ever fall on my face though. xD Definitely a new experience. Hopefully I have enough smarticles to get myself through this one. It seems familiar and foreign at the same time. If that made any sense at all.... Sigh..I'll figure it out, just watch. It'll come together. ^^ Gotta be optimistic.

References made in this post:
http://watchingstarsinshadows.blogspot.com/2010/03/me-case-of-youths-stupidity.html
(Post: Me = A Case of Youth's Stupidity)

031610 Clumsy

I stumble, I awkwardly trip and fall
Eyes squeezed shut, fearful to hit a wall
An uneasy dart of the eyes off the side
Feeling the catch, a warm gentle guide
A flushed shade tinting the face
From the lack of poise and grace
An embarrassed apology, bubbling alarm
A forgiving smile, unfazed charm
A reoccurring foreign situation
Silent, flourishing admiration
A ticklish wish, a mute request
Forcing the heartbeats to slow and rest
Swept up repeatedly by hug after hug
Pushing back the intrusion of the bug
Biting back improper notions
Foreseeing the confusing emotions
A line drawn between wrong and right
Enjoying the company, guiltless, polite
The vague friendship already made
Shivers invade as I wish you stayed
An epiphany understood much too late
Left to thinking, leaving things to fate
But yet, regret is something that I won’t touch
Even if distance later on hurts me very much
A whirlwind of edgy, baffled felicity
I ask no sorry from your lips, neither pity
Because I genuinely ask amnesty from thee
For my footing and heart are both clumsy

Me = Happy Participant

Note to self: My limit on wearing 4 inch heels is 3 hours.

Another note to self: Think of poses ahead of time next time you go to Cue! >.>'' Sigh......

Like I told my friend, my feet hurt, I'm partially deaf, I'm so tired, but I'm really happy. The dance was actually pretty fun and I kind of learned something new. I hope that I get better at teaching, choice of wardrobe (heels killed me and limited the dancing, so lesson learned) and being a better host. >.<'' I really tried. I do hope that my friend had a good time though. =T Or....at least a decent/tolerable time. >.< Well, I'm not exactly sure if I taught him well enough how to dance with a girl to hip hop techno remixes. He tried to teach me how 2 slow dance. But...that didn't turn out so well. I tripped so many times that the number of times that I tripped can't be counted on just my fingers. >.<'' (maybe my fingers and toes... >________>) At least we shared a few laughs and moments, so I'm pretty satisfied with the memory. =)

031310 C'est la Vie

You went off to travel
You went off to roam
Your blood dripped on the gravel
Living at Paris, your dream home

A l’amour too late learned
Dreams past overdue
Passion too belated burned
Acceptance rare, but true

You brushed it off with a smile
You even laughed at first
But Death began its call to dial
As things went bad to the worst

Why you chose me to call
A gift upon me you did bestow
Your breaking voice I will recall
Even though it was more than a year ago

But alas, you missed Death’s ring
When he asked if you were ready to go
If you wanted the life you wanted to cling
A Parisian street lamp smothered by snow

When the last breath exhaled
This weeping world set you free
As the fragrant morning paled
And the wind sang, “C’est la vie, c’est la vie.”

030810 Heart of a Cloud

Radiant elegance descending the stairs
No signals, announcements, flashy flares
Floating down as an angel’s feather
A delicate pale against the sky’s weather
A sea of blue and a standing out white
Speech that’s gentle, kind and light
Gazing silently, observing down below
Gentle waves of breezes to the land down low
Filled with dreams and bubbling sighs
A blank canvas underneath oil-painted eyes
A flower, but no roots nor supporting stem
An innocent victim soon condemned
Underneath heat and burns will disperse
A mind soon to shatter against a curse
Lips to fall syrupy to tainted grounds
A muted angel falling without sound
So seek some windows to welcome the night
Not cover the view with curtains’ weight and height
Not tenderly missed and too soon forgotten
As the world’s innocence continues to rotten

Me = Diets and Fishies

Much better today. Well rested from Fae Mao's house because I think I took a very lovely 2 or 3 hour nap. =)

My friend Mishtah Teko (haha, I wonder what he's going to say after reading that >w<'') has been convincing me to get a widget where you can have a recent comments thingy on the side. At first, I tried looking and didn't find it after about 10 minutes and went back to doing homework. Today, I looked around and finally found it, as well as that fishy thing that I've seen people put at the very bottom of their blogs. =) Fishy fishy! =D It's amusing. ^^ Sooo feel free to scroll down to the bottom and feed my virtual fishies that never get fat. Would high school girls be jealous that they never gain weight? I can imagine a good chunk would because I've heard a 4th grader say they need to go on a diet. All I did was look at her annoyed and ignore if I remember correctly.

I'm not bashing on changing diets. I'm prefectly fine with some person who eats hamburgers all day to finally decide to lug their butt cheeks over to souplantation for at least some sort of salad (every weekend with their friends or something even sits well for me). THAT is something admirable. Not starving yourself so you can fit into that dress that you've always wanted your butt to look good in. THAT is just plain stupid. =) I can say that with a smiley plastered on my face. Luckily, I don't share the difficulties of one who eats fast foods all that much. I eat french fries and the extremely rare occasion of KFC, but that's only when others buy it. I haven't eaten a burger in about 2 years. Quite amused with that fact for I recall a time when my parents would too busy to go looking for a restaurant about 15 minutes away for food (and because the Village Shopping Centre wasn't built yet) so I settled for Burger King over near the MT. SAC. It's fantastical. =) So. Changing to healthier diet for Souplantation or something. -thumbs up- Heck, I'll even give you a coupon so that it's two for one's price. Buuuuuut starving yourself because that's what the media reports on their poor, stalked celebrities. Um. Yeah.........................................NO.

Me = Cracked Smiles =)

Title wasn't meant to sound emo. >.>'' I just realized that it could be taken as such. But it is true. I was quieter today in all aspects, even my little sister thought it was because I just woke up from a nap or some sorts. Good things that habit about me came to the rescue...like I'd tell anyone what's on my mind until I dissect it completely. Another fantastical fact about me. Just....utterly fantastical. I hate my sarcasm. It's annoying even to me.

I'll admit. What made it so much more difficult to get through the day was the fact that EVERYTHING reminded me of my friend. (saying friend sounds so awkward, but due to my preference for rather keeping people lost to anonymity, I'll have to deal with it) It went from a pencil to a jacket to writing down the date to someone saying fantastical. It just annoyed me that I was taking on such a burden to take time to react like I did. If my conscience was a rattlesnake, it rattled the whole day and I just wish that it bit my mind to pieces. At least I wouldn't be stuck on the fence trying to figure out what to make of things. Thinking things in monochrome is quite difficult and brain-wracking for me. Trying to do so is throwing me off of what I want to and what I should. I was told ever since I was a 5 year old to know clearly the difference of what I want to do and what I should do because OBVIOUSLY those two things aren't always the same. Black and white. Black and white. This is seriously a regression from my New Year's wish, as well as a regression overall. I wish I was a better person.

Oh oh wait. I at least could figure out when I could cry soon in the future. That is a plus at least. Before I would've just wondered when the hizzles that I'm going to finally crack and start crying all over the place. Luckily those times are alone, but despite that, if there was a way to make crying into a trait. I'd refuse it. Takes up energy and time. What a waste. A useless waste.

NOW on to the happier things about today. A few things did slow down the process of fencing myself in with only probably 2 people with the key to enter where ever I am. Poor analogy. I apologize. A few things made me crack a small smile today.


It's cute. One of the miniatures that I found from one of the blogs that I follow. =) Fae Mao always makes me smile, so no argument there. I have to admit. After I was doodling with my lead pencil today, I did remember some fond memories that made me smile. I make it sound like I'm going to die soon. T^T Maybe.....this part isn't so happy as I first thought in the end. Le sigh...

I wonder how this concept would turn out: Instantaneously A Muted Optimist Parading Around As A Pessimist (or Realist, if one must argue for themselves..) So...many questions after I typed that...But I'll deal with it later.

Me = Miniature Food Eye Candy Admirer

OooOoOOoOoOOoOoOoooh how I bow down to thee~ =) If I had money to flitter away, one of the things on my artsy-craftsy list would be to buy miniature foods. I really wish I could make these things. T^T Neither the time nor the money at the moment to spare. Athough, paper cards aren't too shabby to design and mess with for now. We'll have to make do with what's given. I found a whole bunch of miniature artists' blogs and I find it an absolute inspiration to look at their work. It's refreshing, cute and......mini! =) It's cute. (Yes...I had to repeat cute twice. ^^) The only thing in the way of me buying some (especially some of the sushi ones) is their price. Since their handmade, I don't question the time and effort put into each and every single one of them. Wouldn't it be nice to have time to play with polymer clay and figure out how to make them? I read a few how-to's for them and found that you have to mix the clays to make the different, unique colors. Well...that's just like oil painting then. A worthy discovery adventure for the future indeed. =) Another thing to add on my list of what-I-want-to-try-in-the-future. OooOoOoooOoOoooOOoOOh the money I'll need to finish that list. It's unbelieveable I tells you. =-=''

http://petitplatbysk.blogspot.com/
http://www.petitplat.fr/
Petit Plat's Blog and Website

http://tinyhandsjewelry.blogspot.com/
http://tinyhandsonline.com/
Tiny Hands' Blog and Website

http://oiseaudenim.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/people/OiseaudeNim
Le Petit Monde d'Oiseau's Blog and Shop

http://tinydelights.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/people/TinyDelights
Tiny Delights' Blog and Shop

http://parisminiatures.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/people/ParisMiniatures
http://www.parisminiatures.com/
Paris Miniatures' Blog + Shop + Website

http://asukas.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/asukasakumo
Asuka Sakumo's Blog and Shop

http://ilovelittlethings.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/ilovelittlethings
I Love Little Things' Blog and Shop

http://miniaturepatisseriechef.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/people/miniaturepatisserie
Miniature Patisserie Chef's Blog and Shop